tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5423190931931889692024-03-13T05:31:27.415-07:00Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her ThirtiesLucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.comBlogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-83509896449153195802017-06-28T09:53:00.002-07:002017-06-28T09:54:29.721-07:00Not Exactly Putting Myself Out There - June 28, 2017<b><span style="color: #990000;">This is rather comical, I laugh at myself on this subject.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #990000;">A walk I have taken has done NOTHING to stop the silly madness that plagues my mind, my emotions. It really is a selfish, whine fest. It is regarding my emotions.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #990000;">I really feel as if I could start looking for a partner, a man to share my life with. I know how I want to go about it, and it's by doing nothing really. I kid you not, this is how I roll, sad isn't it? I do the, "Oh! It will happen someday!" But I don't do anything, because I don't want to force it. I remain hopeful, while living life normally and just thinking it will occur when the time is right. Really my life is going extremely well, very normal and peaceful so I feel ready for love again, and ready myself by doing nothing at all.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #990000;">Meanwhile I am changing careers, even going back to school in the fall, checked off some places I finally travelled to on my bucket list, seeing many loved ones along the way. There has been a great deepening of my spirituality, and a great overall improvement to my health; my mind, body and soul are all feeling great. Feeling grand, started stirring in me that would like to find someone; hopefully someone who is very similar to me. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="color: #990000;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="color: #990000;">In doing nothing, ever, to find a man compatible with me, kind of makes me my own worst enemy. Yearning for somebody, meanwhile not doing a dang thing to make it happen. I shall go roll my eyeballs at myself on this matter.</span></b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b><span style="color: #990000;">~Ange</span></b>Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-82166243073587474842016-01-16T14:10:00.003-08:002016-01-16T14:10:36.437-08:00Is That How One Starts the New Year? - January 16, 2015<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>With the New Year to a dramatic-family-issue start, I am
glad for the sense of <i>normal</i> that has
now continued since New Year’s Day that made me very worried if this was to be
the outlook for 2016. However, it seems
that a number of other people faced some hard times, and much of it I related
to. For a number of people they lost
loved ones to old age and illnesses, mostly cancer; even celebrities we know
and love have been lost to it. My heart
breaks and I try to bring them comfort as in know what it is like losing loved
ones cancer; my Mother being one of them. </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Then there are the friends and acquaintances who have a
rough start to the year with entirely other matters: dramatic matters, and one could
possibly say… no, I am going to say it is for certain they brought
on themselves; fighting with their own loved ones has been a norm for them. Luckily I am not a part of that
at all, but by all my observations of the situation particularly the stories broadcasting on social media sites, you can tell that this is another crisis
by people who have a pattern of <i>always being in a fight with someone about
something</i>; which made me think on past times of them having the exact same
battle with somebody else before the present one... just keeps happening again, aaaaand again!</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Friend 1: Has fallen out with every single family member I
know of, and I am not sure they have any family ties left except for possibly
one. Years ago in their youth, they
slowly dropped out of having a relationship with each of their own blood
relatives: started with siblings spouses which lead to the siblings, to the
parents, to extended family such as cousins, aunts and uncles. These were all people concentrated in one
community. So they turned to their
friends and claimed them as their <i>real
family</i>. Then one by one, they no
longer had a friendship with each of those people. Finally, it was the family members of their spouses; even going so far as to comment that the spouse had better be
choosing them over their spouse’s own family as each one fell out of their lives.
I can understand cutting ties with loved ones when there is a toxic
relationship between the two parties that is doing great harm, I really do. Just like I know that there are two sides to
every story in a falling out. However, when the one person in each situation
complains about the exact same issues with each of these people connected to them it makes me
realize the common denominator in each scenario of these falling outs in this
pal’s life is <i>them</i>. I also being to question that
are perhaps their short comings contribute the repetition of these types
of situations in their relationships with people they once loved and cared
for. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>In my total honest opinion of this pal I keep at a length
that is much more than an arm’s length, I believe this is something they thrive
on and will continue to do to people who come into their lives no matter
what. Unless something changes, this is
just going to keep on happening. And I suspect (without going into details) the
relationships they cultivate are for their own benefits with little or regard to
the others involved; that includes some sort of social recognition they are
going for in associating with the people they choose, as well as financial gain, and, they seem to enjoy gossiping and talking
often about others in a negative way that I know they never would if the person
they speak of were standing in front of them. Often looking for all the faults they can point out in other and how they speak of other people whom they are focused on it often sounds like they don’t even really like
the friend, acquaintance, or family member at all. I have often wondered, even at the distance between us what they have said about me when I am not present.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Speaking of always finding fault in others and cutting
bonds, I have a few pals who also started off the New Year looking for a fight.
They have their own certain political, sociological perspectives they strongly
believe in and do their damndest to verbally uphold to everyone around them… It
is also costing one's health and the other their friendships as well.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Pals #2 and #3 in 2016 are very focused on being right and
hammering at others to follow in their own belief systems. I once again point out that not everyone
shares the same beliefs or even the same drives in what is the right way to
change the world. I also believe that if
people are that angry to get into an argument with anyone, anywhere, at anytime, about an issue they are passionate about then I better see them out there
trying to help make those changes, or better yet embody the changes they want to
see. Meaning: funneling their anger and
passion into making the change which requires them to get up and get out in the
real world and do it. These are two
individuals who often claim others picked a fight with them on the issue or
troll on internet sites looking for things that people say that angers
them. All I see when this happens is
typed out confrontations where I know that often it is not going to change
peoples’ opinions they have but add fuel to the anger afterward and the fight
changed nothing. There is enough
fighting in the world, and these ways of arguing I rarely see result in any
good coming out of it; except perhaps for these people to go and find another
fight. Meanwhile Pal #2 has health
issues as a result of much of this and Pal#3 is still jobless, living off the
partner’s hard work and pay cheque and I mostly see them online constantly
raving at the world because no one sees it their way. I am thinking I would like to see them up and
about and less preachy and more action with that talk. That’s just what I think and feel on that matter.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>Is this how people really want to start their New Year and
this is how they really want to continue to live their lives?</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>I think for the amount of trials and tribulation-like issues
my family and I have had to face (illnesses and deaths and people with
addiction issues) when things are quiet and feel normal I am ever-grateful because
it feels like I can breath, that my routine feels more solid, I can focus more
on the hobbies and company of friends that I appreciate, love, and adore. It’s such a blissful, peaceful, quiet
atmosphere that I hold onto each time I obtain it for the time I think the
universe will allow me to have. </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>My Best Friend recently asked if they, a couple of
pals of ours, and I, were the only ones who genuinely fight
for and enjoy this type of solitude in our lives; as drama free as possible while knowing the reality that things happen in life that are troublesome
and do have to be dealt with. I had to
agree that this was perhaps the case. I
will do what I can to hang onto the family members, friends and coworkers I
can, even with the ups and downs and disagreements and knowing my opinions and
beliefs will not always match theirs.
Life is too short not to love and appreciate it more often.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>~Ange</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br style="color: #990000; font-family: georgia;" /></b></span>
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: georgia;"><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #351c75;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: </span><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial;"><a href="http://madeitto33.blogspot.com/">Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties</a></span></span></span></b></div>
</div>
Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-41859671443093018692015-12-18T11:26:00.002-08:002020-05-14T04:10:21.310-07:00I Think She Meant "Inconvenient," Not, "Illogical" - December 18, 2015<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>On a snowy evening two days ago I was on a bus heading home
that stopped at one of the small main transit centres along the way. There was not many of us on the bus and most
of them were heading home from a work day.
</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>A woman passenger who looked appalled and annoyed, suddenly got up out of her seat and went up to the bus driver and proceeded to
wonder if he went closer to one of the train stations. When he revealed that it did not she began to
inquire to him, almost admonishing him like a child that she didn’t understand
why the one of the main hubs we stopped at was not where one of the trains also stopped at. </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>He explained to her of a few potential stops she could get
off at and where she could either walk to the train station she spoke of, or
grab a train closer to one of the bus stops he goes by that she could catch <i>a train</i> that would take her straight to
the stop if she took it. But no matter
what, she was totally unsatisfied, and what she really wanted was somehow for
the world to change completely to her benefit; and that was for the train station to have been at the placed right where we arrived at the very moment, or, that a bus took her
and dropped her off there. To her the
whole thing was, “illogical,” which was a word she would say the rest of the
bus trip. </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>To be perfectly honest, based on her now extremely snotty
tone I thought this was odd that she assumed the universe should’ve have
changed to her will in that moment and no matter what the driver said, and what
us her fellow passengers tried to explain to her, she just got further frustrated, very dissatisfied. The worse she got, the
more she kept saying, “illogical.”</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>Someone asked her if this was a matter of urgency. No! So
this was not a matter of the situation being illogical but to be revealed as an, "inconvenience," which I had thought about going to the front of the bus and
voicing to her because now my calm bus ride was erupting with her presence of
disdain.</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>The issue was is that she lived right by the station she
desired, and therefore the setup of the stops and stations did not accommodate
her at all, especially on cold snowy days such as the one the city
experienced. As nice as it would seem
for any transit rider to have that luxury, it is not, and if this is a huge
deal and a person can afford a vehicle perhaps that is in their best interest. </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>I have heard people ask drivers to reroute the bus for their
own benefits with little disregard to what the driver’s job expectations were
and how that affected other passengers, and for a moment it seemed to me that
this was exactly where she was headed with the conversation… Sorry! Not
conversation! Accusations she made at him for the layout of the transit system
in the city in a tone that indicated a sense of entitlement and wished to have
her demands met. </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>One more factor was she was not prepared for the weather. We
live in a country of cold winters and plenty of snow to come with them and she
was barely layered in proper clothing for the wind chilled snowfall. She was dressed in very thin slacks, dress shoes,
a coat that seemed more for cool spring or fall days. </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>This is stuff like this that makes me realize how selfish
sometimes certain people can be. If I decided to be equally rude my
recommendations would be the following:</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>She gets a car, or</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>Car pools with someone who can drop her off, or </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>Dress properly for winter conditions, or</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>Move. </b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>And if she did move I would recommend to another city, so I
do not feel like someone with this much attitude, a sense of entitlement, and
an actual belief in her unrealistic expectations was far away from the city I love, away from the transit system I enjoy and rely on, and because we could have worse problems in
this place I love than on where the stops are.
Just a thought...</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>~Ange</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br style="color: #990000; font-family: georgia;" />
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: georgia;"><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #351c75;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: </span><span style="background: white; color: #351c75; text-decoration: none;"><a href="http://madeitto33.blogspot.com/">Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties</a></span></span></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-20704225980134243322015-12-09T14:34:00.002-08:002015-12-09T14:34:22.991-08:00Fight Back the Worry - December 9, 2015<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>I am job hunting now, after such a long break. Wow! Two months, so long!</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>There are so many things that I settled within myself that needed to be tended to, much self-reflection (what else is new), working on projects I wanted to focus on, and realizing who I want to be. The rest was very good for me. And n</b></span><b style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">ow, I have only applied to two jobs that I thought would be really exciting but heard nothing back. </b><br />
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></b>
<b style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">At first I was a little sad, and was even having the snowball negative effect of thoughts beginning to stomp and attempt to stampede: flashes of <i>maybe I am not good enough to the world</i>, and that after all the hard times I went through its about to get worse, and that this is all my life will be, one hardship after another and if I don't work right away what will happen to me? </b><b style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">That flash of getting upset with myself came to me wondering if this was a mistake to rest for two months was taking a bad a hold on me, it still kind of lingers at the moment. Grant it it has been eleven years and I knew if I didn't rest I may end up worse without taking one after losing my Mama and everything else I had lost in the past four years, then where would I be with myself? Probably tied in a jacket and pumped with drugs. The thought makes me laugh. </b><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Now at the moment, when I get anxious or upset I change my focus and meditatively pray. That doesn't mean the negative thoughts, bad dreams, or worries go away, but refocusing to positive thinking, prayers, even daydreaming of funny or fantastical notions helps. And it is a lot better than the alternative which is let everything bad overtake me and then I go crazy and am never heard from again. </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>Keeping in the positive and bubbly after one crisis after is not realistic, even though that is my natural state, and that's only because of all I have endured. I am slowly recovering (it takes awhile to be put back together, even for myself) but I am in a bit of a cycle of where I am happy and over the moon to suddenly if any inkling of bad is within my perimeter I get into ugly-thoughts mode and then I am physically unwell for a moment; followed by bad dreams it seems. However, I am doing whatever it takes to fight back when it does. That's what is important to me that I haven't lost yet, even in moments of despair: faith, hope, love, and optimism. Let that never be taken away from me. Otherwise I will worry!!!</b></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
</span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia";">~Ange.</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: "georgia";"><br /><b><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #351c75;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: </span><span style="background: white; color: #351c75; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://madeitto33.blogspot.com/">Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties</a></span></span></span></b></span>Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-9037230614783723072015-12-07T11:12:00.002-08:002015-12-07T11:12:24.515-08:00Dishes Is My Arch Nemesis - December 7, 2015<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Dishes.... The way they are stacked in my sink right now look like jagged points of a mountain top, staring at me, making a point that they require my attention. Does anyone else find dishes to be the enemy?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia";">I am a big fan of to-do lists and dishes is actually written as a top priority even though I wrote, "ha, ha, ha," beside it, as I already know that this may not be give the immediate attention it deserves and it will soon over flow the sink while the rest of the apartment is immaculate. I have been this way with this chore for a very long time in my life. At least I scrape and rinse them so there is no smells or anything growing on them; they are just rinsed dishes that should really take no time to clean but I let them sit anyway. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia";">I enjoy cleaning everything but dishes, it is a strange behavior to even myself, and I know it is because of <em>me</em> the dishes get dirty and stack up, yet I childishly blame them. <em>Ha ha ha</em>! Oh dishes!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia";">~Ange.</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia";"><br />
<b><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #351c75;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: </span><span style="background: white; color: #351c75; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://madeitto33.blogspot.com/">Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties</a></span></span></span></b></span>Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-63263085800865957412015-12-04T11:05:00.003-08:002015-12-04T11:05:34.759-08:00That Pen & Notebook Is Mine - December 4, 2015<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>I have been doing some travelling to visit loved ones a little more frequently, and I am a light packer, I really am. I always carry a backpack for sure, sometimes my tote if I need to bring some extra things. These days the top priority is some notebooks and my pack of pens being thrown in my bags before anything else. They cannot be forgotten, they go everywhere with me, and if I almost forget them at someone else's house or someone goes to pick them up a very childlike reaction erupts in me saying, "that's mine, I got it," quickly putting it away. I may not be a great blogger lately, but for sure the writing never stops, the ideas, small notes, and lengthy essays that don't get posted never cease, and they are all with me wherever I go now. As I pondered this while tucking my goodies away in my travel bag I realized I was like this when I was younger too.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b>I know I established in previous blogs that I am not a great writer, and I write a lot, but the realization that the writing has been there for years really dawned on me recently. From small colourful diaries as a child, to short stories and poetry taking over scraps of paper from around the house on my parents to even using up old art paper as a teenager (got in trouble for that more than once when it turned out my parents needed those sheets), to the present day where notebooks, sheets tore out of notebooks and scratch pads filled with colourful squiggly words are scattered all over my coffee table and desk.... and maybe underneath the coffee table. I am loving it and wouldn't have it any other way, it is all mine even if it is a mess. Perhaps the childlike possessive behaviour has not dwindled.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><b>~Ange</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></span><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #351c75;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: </span><span style="background: white; color: #351c75; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://madeitto33.blogspot.com/">Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties</a></span></span></b></div>
</div>
Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-27123359371010300972015-11-09T10:57:00.004-08:002015-12-04T11:05:41.840-08:00Kids Make Me Laugh and Smile - November 9, 2015<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">Kids are the best </span><i class="_4-k1 img sp_fM-mz8spZ1b sx_62a652" style="background-color: white; background-image: url(https://fbstatic-a.akamaihd.net/rsrc.php/v2/yx/r/pimRBh7B6ER.png); background-position: 0px -204px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: auto; display: inline-block; font-size: 14px; height: 16px; line-height: 19.32px; vertical-align: -3px; width: 16px;"><u style="left: -999999px; position: absolute;">heart emoticon</u></i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"> I saw a little girl waving from one of the buses going down main street; her and her mother (or caregiver) for fun were waving to no one in particular, just waving for the heck of it. As I was the only one who noticed I waved back. I haven't seen a kid look so excited like that in a long time. It made me laugh and smile for a good long time. I hope she felt the same after.</span></b></span><br />
<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><b><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><br /></span></b></span><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><b>This morning on the bus I saw a father and his children (a small boy and a baby girl) on their way to one of the Dad and kid programs nearby. The boy was sitting next to him, baby was in a wrap and tucked into his coat facing him. While the boy and Dad were talking quite animatedly about everything from road construction, to buses to where they were going, the Dad would frequently look at his tiny baby girl and give her little kisses on her forehead. He had a big fuzzy beard, and you could see her cute tiny baby expressions of love and joy when she stared up at her Dad followed by tiny frowns and surprises every time he laid tiny bristled kisses on her head. It was so sweet!</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><b><br /></b></span></span><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><b>~Ange</b></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #274e13;"><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"><b><br /></b></span></span></span>
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #274e13; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;"></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #351c75;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: </span><span style="background: white; color: #351c75; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;"><a href="http://madeitto33.blogspot.com/">Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties</a></span></span></b><br />
<div>
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
</div>
</div>
Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-5398853105591674542015-11-06T09:41:00.002-08:002015-11-06T09:41:13.462-08:00Latest Reads & Music - November 6, 2015<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Being the avid reader and music lover that I am (both beat out TV for me), I have some new things on the list I have been enjoying lately that I'd like to share. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"><u>Books:</u></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">The Assault by Harry Mulisch</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">Career of Evil by Robert Galbraith/J.K. Rowling (I admit, I couldn't get into her other works but this series has won me over. I enjoy the Cormoran Strike series immensely).</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">Vampire Knight (manga) by Matsuri Hino</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">Double Cross by Ben Macintyre</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"><u>Music:</u></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">Rock or Bust by AC/DC</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">Under One Sky by The Tenors</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">4 Walls by f(x)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">Big Shiny Tunes 2</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">Sarah McLachlan albums</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">Dragon Age Inquisition soundtrack by Trevor Morris.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">Anyone else out there have some new music or books they are really into right now? </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";">~Ange</span></strong><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><span style="color: #351c75;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: </span><a href="http://madeitto33.blogspot.com/"><span style="background: white; color: #351c75; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-themecolor: text1; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
</div>
<br />Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-5891337937577534402015-11-04T11:22:00.003-08:002017-07-17T08:47:39.609-07:00My Employer Experience, & What I See - November 4, 2015<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In the technological
oriented and fast-paced atmosphere we have going on in the work force, it is
hard to keep track of everything the employers are attempting to do to try and
stay ahead and keep things fresh. Change
is a good way to keep things interesting, even make things better; and it’s a
great feeling when it works out. However, there are costs that come with that
if there is not enough planning and foresight to see if those changes will
genuinely be an asset to the business.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I may never be an owner,
manager, CEO, director etc but I know from being an employee for so long and be
an over-reflective, observant, realistic human being I have been lucky enough
to have a couple of really good employers who taught me so much and I am
eternally grateful to them. The rest…
well… let’s say you learn the good where you can, and live with deciding how I
didn’t want to be toward coworkers and the people I served; wherever I was
working at.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I will sum up to you my
employers and why when I go to interviews I am equally interviewing the next
boss as much as they are me. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I had one employer that
craved success but at the cost of stepping on other people in the community I
once lived at. They took things so far that when that sort of behaviour caught
up to them they had to move somewhere else and hope for the best. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Another was a
thief. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">The next committed fraud
and was arrested (it was sad for their children). <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">In another area there
were two bosses who hated each other that their drama and tensions between them
caused issues for the rest of us in their heated competition with one another. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Then another (who taught
me so much) started off with one employer that overtime became four. In this place, it started off wondrous with a
very high bar that slowly went downhill overtime along with the sudden urgency
to keep things new and fresh but at a cost to the positive, very happy
atmosphere. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">My two favourite bosses
were no-nonsense ladies with high expectations and actually wrote down our
feedback and implemented changes where there seemed to be more than one staff
member or customer concerned/requested the changes. If it worked, HURRAY! If it
didn’t go, try the other possible options.
If none worked, we went back to the old way.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Here is what I have
learned from my work experiences, and I pray that if any employer and employees
read this they take away some things that may help them (just maybe):<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Don’t lie. Be honest, and
be accountable. Know where to put the blame (especially if it is you who did
something wrong, we’re all human). And,
lead by example in that everyone is human and falls short, and then show what
you can learn from that experience and change for the better as a kind lesson
for everyone. As someone who has been in
a handful of supervisory positions I have found being kind, honest, and
reflecting back to staff on my own past mistakes helps; and, sharing with them
what I learned and where changing things up worked for me and what options may
work for them. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Don’t be a thief. Don’t let someone else be the fall-guy and be
burdened with your mistake.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If you have an addiction
or substance problem get help for it, and if you are someone who notices
someone who has this issue get help for them, because every human needs care,
supports, and deserves to get it in order to live a long, healthy life.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If there is a problem,
then make plans to change things and try them out, but if nothing is wrong don’t
break what doesn’t need fixing because I have seen trying “something new” (for
whatever reason) often doesn’t work when things were going great as they were,
and, often everyone ends up going back to the old way anyway.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Listen. Really listen. Take
notes from staff (even each other as coworkers) and the clients/customers and
see where changes need to be made and make plans for that change. Take time to dwell on how well it could be
effective before implementing. And it doesn’t hurt to consider more than one
option and compare. Even when the plan is implemented give it some time. In this, everyone listen to one another for
the feedback as where the changes/plans were effective and where it was not. <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Adding to the last note:
don’t expect immediate results. Starting
off well does not mean that’s a sign that you stop looking holes, holes as in
where this could be a ‘not-so-good-idea,” in the end. Give it time, sometimes the bad shows up and
it turns out this was not a good change.
Make the time frame reasonable as well, just as you would if you are
training someone; everyone must be realistic and observe the results first. I have seen lists, check lists, a plans of
action, training packages to go through etc that were all implemented, but,
there were issues in the end... one being the issue of <i>time</i> – even lack of patience involved
with that -the other was giving people who were not suited to the job being
given too much of the benefit of the doubt.
I saw all these situations occur with the same employer when it came to
training staff. To me, it seemed they
did this in one instance due to desperation to fill the void with any sort of
staff they could get, and the other because a bit of favortism arose due to a
certain aspect/character of a staff member that they were attracted to (this
was often due to a feeling of them being similar on a personal level in some
way)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Patience in changes and
considering feedback should be seen through. When the plans or changes that
were underway stayed as a permanent fixture suddenly, in my experiences, it was
because a) it started off on a high note and therefore there was a total
neglect in feedback and nor anymore waiting to see if it would work in the long
haul b) it suited solely to the employers. Then it affected the rest of the
work sphere in a negative light and hindered progress for others.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">An additional note to
feedback… Don’t ask for feedback of others when it’s not even going to be
considered at all. It’s better if it is
not at all as it can hurt morale; I have seen this one happen a lot. I know bosses have others who make them
accountable and will come in and check their records, inspect and investigate
things right down to the paperwork and digital records. One of the biggest
things is looking for staff feedback or that it is even being taken into
consideration. It’s a good idea to have
that communication amongst staff and between them and the boss. Problem with that, in my experience… often
employers can ask for feedback but does not mean yours or anyone else’s is
necessarily considered, even if it got written down somewhere. We know that they need to, but it is not
great for staff morale when people catch on that they are asked for feedback,
<i>but know that none of it is actually even taken into consideration</i>. Worse is when you
realize it ends up the employer was looking for the answer they already had in
mind themselves. It’s the same as when
they come to you with the question of what you think/give you more than one
option on something… when you tell them the option you think is the better and
why they suddenly argue with you on that option, even though they offered
it. There again, looking for you to
answer with the one they really wanted you to say, but all for the sake of
making it look like they really value what you think. Adding onto that when you tell them <i><u>why</u></i> the option you thought of (or
an option the boss had not thought up) would be better suited, they choose a
different one, only to have an hour or two past and they went with your option
anyway realizing the others were not going to work at all.<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">When using emails as an
easier means to communicate EVERYTHING at work and save on meetings (thus time
and money) keep it short and to the point and if anyone has issues allow them
to have one-on-one time to work it out. And don’t send it out so many emails.
And if emails don’t work, maybe scratch emails off the list of effective
communication. I had one employer who
could send you what appeared to be 3-5 essay-like emails in a day (in one case
almost every single day one week) on things they expected or issues that were
arising…. I can tell you this, only myself and one other employee read all
those, understood those, and applied those expectations. Everyone else behind the scenes voiced they
rarely read the emails, didn’t know why there was so many of them, and it was
hard to read the emails because they were so long and staff wondered when were
they going to have to time to go through it when there was so many other things
required of staff in a day. I suspect
this often happens in many work places where these sorts of emails happen
regularly: no one has time to read all of them, it feels overwhelming, it feels
like someone is constantly badgering them, and that the employer is micromanaging,
and - as a few fellow employees once said - possibly enjoying the sound of
their own voice in print on a screen.
One coworker suggested that the employer start their own blog as that’s
the feeling the emails gave off in the way they were written. That suggestion makes me laugh as I write for
my own blog. I can see how it saves
time, money, meetings and scheduling and planning everyone’s personal lives
around those, I do. But what if it’s not
effective?... Does the emailing continue?...<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">There! That’s my
thoughts on the matter! Have a good day everyone!<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Ange.</span></b><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: <a href="http://madeitto33.blogspot.com/"><span style="background: white; color: black; text-decoration: none;">Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a
Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties</span></a><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-30614115125079659572015-11-03T11:11:00.005-08:002015-11-03T11:11:54.377-08:00The Comfort of Snow - November 3, 2015<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">When it snows I want to sing Christmas-snowy tunes. Yes, I am aware that could cause me to be murdered if I am singing or voicing my affection for snow too loudly. Alas, I still appreciate the winter season, I really do. Its the best season for feeling warm, comforted; it's like the darkness and snow is wrapping me in relaxation, coziness, and a sense of rest for awhile -despite others I know totally disagree and have refuted any of its goodness through arguments of how the temperatures drop or that there is ice, snow, and storms that can cause amok. To each their own!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";">My favourite season is Fall. I love it: the smell of the leaves falling and fresh cool air, the bright colours of reds, oranges, yellows, purples, even the browns, the crunchy leaves. If you look at my albums by seasons on my computer, you will find there are hundreds more photos in the Fall albums versus all other seasons; it is ridiculous, I even have photos each year of the exact same scene as if it's totally different from the year before (it's not really but I love those areas for how they look during those Autumn months).</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";">As I grew older I realized the necessity of each season (even Summer whom is my least favourite); all four make up the cycle of things, and how it helps things along. I have come to enjoy them each, even Winter. Winter brings for me that sense of taking things a lot slower. And for a lonewolf you can hide from the world a little easier because no one else wants to go anywhere as they are all hiding indoors for most of winter. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";">Winter is the most complained about, even from my family and friends. There are not many of us amongst my loved ones who get excited when the first snowfall comes. Like today! First snowfall! It was pretty with large, fluffy, dancing snowflakes. It was this beautiful, quiet, big white storm. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";">I am an outdoor person, I have to get outside every day otherwise I get a little nuts from cabin fever which seeps into me so fast it is not funny actually, I can feel the walls of wherever I am at closing in on me quite quickly if I stay in inside too long. Even if the temperatures are at a permafrost feeling and there is ice outside, I still layer myself up, put on the big old boots and go out for as long as possible. I may not face this time consuming layering ritual (or the removal process) in the other seasons, nor have to worry about making sure my face is covered to prevent frozen lungs and frostbite, but there is something nice and relaxing about it in the winter time. I take my time doing it even, including each piece of outdoor layer I need that day. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";">The fresh cold air, the dance of snow, the sparkly white ground, and the greater effort it can take for me to get active in it (high levels of snow to trek through), it's all wonderful to me. Because, afterward, when I go inside after my exercise (as well as long pauses of admiration for grand snowy scenes I come across in my adventures), I get to warm up. I love that feeling of coming inside and warming up after a cold, refreshing and (to me) exhilarating time in the snow. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";">I make a cup of tea, change into something less sweaty and wrap up in warm blankets. If it's dark, I choose candles instead of turning on my lights. When the tea is ready I cozy up on the couch. Sometimes there can be a book involved, doodling or penning away about I have circulating in my head, while I sip my hot tea, letting the wonderful smell and warm feeling trickle through my senses, flowing through the rest of my body down to my toes. </span></strong><strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";">Another way I enjoy that feeling is by having a crock pot full of soup or vegetable stew and eating that. Mmm!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";">It's the best season for me to focus on my hobbies. In warmer temperatures I am more likely to get away with going out and adventuring further from home and see friends and family in a higher frequency - good times don't get me wrong - then my hobbies can end up taking a back seat. But come Winter, they are usually first in line to get my love and attention. It's a wonderful feeling to get lost in something I love to work on for hours and getting it the way I want it, or, even fail and try again until I do get it right. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Georgia;">Winter is not too shabby...</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";">Getting that extra alone time, relaxing and resting more, wrapping up in warm clothes and blankets in the shelter of Winters dark, white, blanketed effect in the months to come. I take comfort in all that. It's nice!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: "georgia";">~<span style="color: #3d85c6;">Ange</span></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-small;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></strong><span style="font-family: "georgia";"></span>Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-12357434187874354222015-10-30T09:49:00.002-07:002015-10-30T09:49:46.904-07:00Hallow's Eve - October 30, 2015<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">One more sleep until Halloween! A celebration entailing rituals and remembrance of the dead; for some the belief that the dead return to us in some form as the invisible line between us and the ghosts and whatever else may be out there fades a little more; dressing up; and <em>lots of candy</em>!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">For years my ex and I had everyone coming to our place that day of the year all dressed up and bringing their Halloween themed homemade treats to watch goofy horror movies and play board games. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Now, for the past hand full of years it has my Bestie and I picking and watching a favourite Halloween movie and doing something with just the two of us. No dressing up or big parties for me anymore. I focus on keeping it quiet and relaxed, luckily I have excellent company who enjoys the same as I do. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">I do have one thing that has remained unchanged for years, my October Halloween movie marathon. Here are my list of favourites along with a mention of the ones I am missing from my collection that should be there:</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Halloween (original)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Alien</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Aliens</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Prometheus</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">The Lost Boys</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Let the Right One In </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Ju-On</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Garfield's Halloween Special</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Practical Magic</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Mary Reilly</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Ones I still need to buy but I rent/borrow:</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">28 Days Later</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Silver Bullet</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Dracula (Gary Oldman as the Count)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Hocus Pocus</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Anyone else have their favourites they watch every year?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";"><strong>~Ange</strong></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: orange;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: orange; font-family: "georgia";">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia";"></span><strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong></span><br />Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-58602761669103541592015-10-29T10:55:00.005-07:002015-11-09T09:55:17.997-08:00I'm a Contradiction - October 29, 2015<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I was contemplating the other day the many ways I am a contradiction. This is not the first time I have pondered over it nor will it be the last. To me, when I think on it, it is amusing. I don't deny it and will be the first to bring it up, but to other people who come to the realization it is probably an annoyance. However, I do not let it bother me, I like the way I am and would prefer to stay this way on where I appear to others to be a walking contradiction. I would definitely be bothered if I changed and was no longer a contradiction. I will take a moment to explain.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">The way I am is the way I am but I do not impose my beliefs nor way of life onto others thinking that they should also behave and live the same life I am. Further to that, we are not all the same so that's just not going to work now is it? If I saw someone who was harming themselves in some way, or there was factors posing a risk in their life - especially if it was due to the choices they made - then I may say something. Even at that I would be seeking help for them and finding what works for them to stop whatever bad habits/behaviours were going on in order to help them out, not necessarily comparing them to me and what has worked for me unless I think it would be applicable to the situation and would be based more on advice and suggestion not pushing or forcing it upon somebody. I may be religious/spiritual individual but like to think my concern for humanity at present would be more important even if I was not a believer in something else outside of myself that I cannot see. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">Where I appear to be the biggest contradiction is in my veganism and being a Christian.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">As a vegan I am environmentally conscientious, worry about where I buy stuff and what it's origins are so I know what is going into my body. I even worry about the packaging of what I am purchasing to avoid putting too much in the landfill and try to recycle as much as I can. The origins of that stems from when I began to worry about my health and beauty products I used: what was in them and what could it do to my body in the long run? Then overtime I came across certain books and websites that lead me on the path to changing my food intake. But, I am not walking the walk that other vegans I have met do.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">I will not preach at you. If people ask me questions I answer as many questions as I can and even refer people to the sources that got me started. I got especially lucky with the material I found. The voices that rolled off the pages were filled with kindness and humility in their encouragements, they too were not preachy at all. These were people who had done their research and were genuinely, humbly, concerned as to what certain foods and their productions were doing to our health, animals, and the environment. Hence, I will answer questions but encourage people to look to those who lead me down my path as I feel they are the better role models. I have eaten this way for several years and have had no inclination to go back to my daily intake as before. This works for me from the inside out and I am pleased at how I can help in other ways, even if my mark may be small.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">It is amazing when people attack me on it (on a verbal front not a physical one I assure you) and I know why that is... they came across someone who will preach to no end about why others need to become vegetarian and vegans for the sake of the world.... I have been exposed to such individuals myself and it hurts my ears and my head. Those who are not eating a vegan diet will get angry before they get to me know and make rude jokes or keep hammering at me for my choice. That does not mean it's okay, but I know where it's coming from and as soon as I say that I live my life this way please go live yours your own way they leave me alone pretty fast. They realize I am not going to lecture them on their eating habits and even sense that there is no way they are going to change me or be phased by their behavior. Most times, they then change their tune and begin to ask questions; turning to a polite educational conversation between us. They often discover that I encourage others to find the foods that work for them and that moderating is most important mindset for anyone. It doesn't mean after the conversation I expected that it changed them in any way, but that we both learned something about one another. I am always pleased and humbled when someone makes an effort and changed something in their diet and thought to tell me right away.... often its because of the polite conversation between us. My friend who specializes in health and nutrition has found politeness works best versus other people in the profession who get really firm on the subject; as we are both polite people, her and I, this is the way we like to make change and lead by example. However, other vegans and vegetarians would disagree, even say I am too soft, not strict enough, and not really true to my veganism if I am not spreading it around as I should. If I buy food for guests that I know are not vegan I buy them what they want and avoid vegan-izing anything. I don't make speeches on why everyone should change their diets or go through the lists of the benefits, but I know there are plenty of people out there who will. I don't hit up protests or have joined any activist groups. I am not part of a community/groups on the subject. That's just not how I roll. I live how I live, lead by example in what I do, and be the change I want to see. This is the same way I am in my religious or spiritual aspect of my life.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">I believe in Christ. I study my Bible, but, I have some issues with the authenticity. Yet, I still study it. I pray a lot, and focus more on what I sense is between me and the Big Guy in the Sky and our relationship, and how He gently, lovingly guides me on my path in life; even when I am scared or mess up. I sense Him and see the good and love from Him everyday, even when the world seems very dark and scary particularly when I know what we human beings are doing to each other: the violence, the cruelness, the lies, deceptions, cheating, etc. I could go on about the darkness I see in us human beings... But what helps me in life, what gets me through the days, weeks and months is Him. My belief, hope, faith and love in Him. But others would say I am not truly Christian, and here are some things based on what others have said that I have been judged for by other Christians:</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- I don't spread or quote the gospel</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- I don't attend church anymore</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- I don't associate with many other Christians</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- Some things I say and do would be considered against the Bible</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- I have nothing against people who love each other who are the same gender</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- I totally against man being above women</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- I don't believe in no sex before marriage</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- I don't believe every women should have kids and if they don't they are going against something that all women should innately desire</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- Not a pacifist: if someone/myself is being attacked or hurt I will fight back if I see the fight requires force.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- I have friends who are Jehovah, Mormon, agnostic, Baha'i, and Catholic (if anyone thinks there is not much difference between Christian and Catholic my Catholic friends and I have already noted there is a considerable difference)</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">- Sometimes my diplomacy goes out the door and those who require a good dose of humility get a forked-tongue that I try to keep in check and hit them where I know they are weak. I am not good with argumentative people or bullies, and often they wear their wounds of what makes them feel weak or negative about themselves. But, being a good reader of people I also see that negative sore spot very quick. If these people get out of line or are rude or bullying others (especially to make others feel bad to make themselves feel good or win an argument) then I point out the sore spot and that's probably why they are being the way they are. Works every time. I don't like to resort to it but I will to defend others. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">Does that make me not a Christian? I believe I still am and will not argue with anyone on the subject who says I am not; but I don't say I agree with them either, I just shrug it off. However, it is amazes me by how many people (no matter what they believe) have pegged me for being Christian. Throughout my life when I have been noted to be Christian before I confirm it people say it has been because of how I present myself, how I behave, and how, "kind," "caring," and, "understanding," I am. The interesting feedback on how some people knew I was a Christian is because of the righteous indignation I get over the wrongs done to other people and I will not back down going so far as to being very blunt and honest; the bluntness and honesty has apparently given it away. That one still surprises me.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">Does this make me a bad vegan? A bad Christian? Or do these things make me not a vegan or a Christian?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";">I don't care. But I wouldn't want to change it.</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="font-family: "georgia";"><strong></strong></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><span style="font-family: "georgia";"><strong>~Ange</strong></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="color: red;"><span style="color: #cc0000;"><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "georgia";">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "georgia";"></span><strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #cc0000; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-8578156256787619722015-10-26T09:38:00.004-07:002015-10-26T09:38:37.458-07:00I Am Sensing a Lack of Humanitarianism Here - October 26, 2015<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">There has been an overload on social media sites of memes my friends are spreading around with messages filled with heaps of anger since the election in this country. Okay, not all of it is angry, there are people with joyful memes out there too, but every picture filled with very negative statements bothers me, outweighing any positive messages. While everyone is battling each other with all these memes and status updates, all I see is people trying to top one another in sounding more vicious with the statements they are attempting to get across, especially toward anyone who doesn't agree with them; that's all I see in this.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">In some cases, what some people are saying is downright cruel, I think. I think it is wrong when we are attacking peoples family members in those messages, even if they are a political figure; or anyone who is in the media spotlight, I don't see any need for that and I think it says something about the character of those who do such things, and its not good what I am thinking about them. Now I am hearing about western provinces wanting to separate, or, become a part of the United States, and how angry people are about those who wish to move to Canada. Apparently a person wanting to come to our country is an awful notion to many in this country. I hear more racist statements come out of that argument than people actually being worried about terrorists stepping foot into this country. Also, I worry for the safety of those being forced out of our country because of racist motivations. I thought our Canada was above that, I guess I am wrong. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">Seeing and hearing all this, I have one thought, one fear that plagues me: I see no love, nor do I see much humanitarianism in any of this. Adding to that, I sum up my views on political candidates as I do with <em>ANYONE</em> in life, which is that if I see they demonstrate in their character a lack of care and support to those in our country who are in need of help, and seem fine with ostracizing another human being (or a particular group of people), or worse, their behaviours/actions leave me with a sense that they are a part of a fear and hatred campaign while they are in office then I am not comfortable with them. People like that, no matter who they are, scare me. From my point of view, that easily can lead humanity down a destructive path, which I don't have to look far back in history to see how bloody and ugly it can get; we end up destroying each other. Two events that spring to mind involve a guillotine, and concentration/extermination camps... It breaks my heart and makes me afraid of how far we human beings will go when fear and hatred are at the helm of our lives...</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">I am not saying we are headed down such a dark path, but like I say, as history has shown us, it can happen so fast. In my mind fear and hatred of one another needs to be stopped in its tracks and dissolved immediately. I know that can be a tall order at times, but it is better than what could happen. But that's my hope, for it to be stopped right away; especially when I worry things are getting out of control every time I see such hatred towards one another and people are willing to jump on the hate-band-wagon together, trying to spread it around.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">So what do I do? I avoid participating in it, even try to get away from it too so I am not exposed to it. I let people know how it can quickly get out of hand and destroy us. Avoiding it may seem like a denial tactic but I have to otherwise it depresses me, causes me to feel ill, anxious. But most of all, I look for where I don't see this rampage of anger and hate...</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">Instead I looked around, and I saw:</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">Two teens flirting in a library, a boy and a girl. They were whispering in each other's ears while they were trying to get some studying done.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">A child and a grandparent sharing a scooter together, with the grandchild driving the scooter around a mall. They navigated their trip together, with huge smiles on their faces. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">Two ladies leaning on each other's shoulders with their eyes closed on the bus.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">A girl in a white dress looks up at her boyfriend in the middle of the sidewalk and says, "It's like I'm your bride or something, I mean look at me," she laughs. He answers sweetly, staring at her lovingly, "It'd be the perfect day for it," and then gives her a kiss.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">A boy is on the train with his Mom. It's his first trip on the train and when he sees the view of the river as it crosses the bridge he squeals with delight.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">I returned a set of keys to someone who left them in their own mailbox in the lobby of the building where I live. To see their relief made me joyful</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">Seeing three women, all of different backgrounds and religions laughing so hard together they were crying while having coffee together.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;">This! All that! Is love and humanity at it's BEST! That's important to me. More important than the other messages I have been seeing.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><strong>~Ange</strong><br /></span><strong><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong></span><span style="font-family: Georgia;"></span><strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<br />Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-49448713573601072462015-10-20T09:24:00.001-07:002015-10-20T10:12:19.453-07:00I Prefer To Be Off the Radars - October 20, 2015<strong><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">I am used to living without really being on anyone's radar. I will not hesitate to jump in and help out those I love of course, but I am just not used to anyone coming to save me, worrying about me, being overly concerned for me, or even coddling or doting upon me. As a lonewolf I am used to taking care of myself, all by myself, even at my lowest of low points. Actually, especially when I am feeling like I am at the bottom of a pit. However, recently, I am realizing I may have to adjust to a revelation, which is: that I may not be able to get away with being unseen as much anymore. I am uncertain as to why this shift has occurred, but I may have no choice to adapt to it... I guess.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">I started noticing that people are paying attention to me more since I have been taking time off. Jobless and resting has now come with addressing any pressing issues more readily than if I was working, or, even better, seeing friends and family more often. As much as I love seeing everyone as I have been able to, or respond more promptly to their messages, emails and phone calls, it feels overwhelming. This steady amount of contact is not something I am used to and am not adjusting to it as well as I could be.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Being on my own in this city for so long has been so easy and familiar and to suddenly have people closer (in proximity) and having such consistent contact with everybody these days (unlike before), well, it feels too much; particularly when they are all suddenly very concerned for me. I have been taking care of myself (even when I was young I started to learn how to care as best as I could for my emotional, mental and spiritual well-being due to my super highly reflective awareness of myself) for so long without much notice to anyone, so all recent attention feels wrong, and I am being attentive to how I am reacting to it to ensure I am not mean or snappy to anyone. Luckily I haven't been rude to anybody (so far), but my first thoughts when I feel people are concerned about me, is this: <em><u>I am fine. What's the deal here? Leave me alone, please!</u></em> I feel more defensive if it seems to be more than one person doing it. At least I know where this initial defensiveness stems from, and it is odd, even to me, because of how I became this way. I am unsure if I can explain it properly, but I shall try.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">There is this trend in my life that God, the fates, the universe (whomever or whatever you believe to be in charge, or maybe it's nothing or no one) created long ago. I know the trend started before my teens, however I no longer can remember the exact age or situation where it originated from. I don't care when it started anymore, it just feels like it has always been this way. The rend is this:</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">In my life, when I am extremely sad, angry, or in a crisis, I have had 1). friends who have no idea what to do, or, 2). no one is there for me. The second one I will explain in further detail, later. The first one I can easily explain now.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Fro some friends they find it too hard to even sit down and listen. I could not only tell that it was uncomfortable or that it was too much for them just by watching them. Some have admitted it as well. They were honest. Why are they like this though? For them, I am the loved one who rarely falls apart and if I do it's too hard for them to help me, or deal with my emotions that they rarely see in me. It's like they suddenly have no clue as to how to help and prefer I go away until I am better. And, at least, they were honest as to why it bother them. These are friends I made in my early years who are all quite sensitive. You not always see it in them right away, especially at a first meeting but you would when you got to know them and time has passed. And they are like this even now, as we got older. The friends I have made in recent years are more open to sitting and listening no matter what is going on with me, but< I have chosen to lean on them any further than that; no hugs, no coddling, no full on meltdown in front of them and asking someone to care for me, even for a little while... I don't look for that anymore. I do seem to lean on my Bestie pretty good, but I do not try to in the extent that I would have with other friends in earlier friends. When you seek that and no one is there for you in that way, (don't worry I am not the kind who would not offer that to others, quite the contrary I am told it helps a lot and apparently I am very good at cuddling and comforting... I am not a cold monster I promise) that yearning goes away overtime.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">When I used to want/seek comfort by being held in someone's arms while I cried, screamed and talked about what was happening but couldn't find it I didn't get mad at anyone for it. Sure I was in pain but I can't blame people for being nowhere to be found. If there is to be blame I blame the universe instead, especially if anyone thinks this change in me is not good I would just point out into the great wide yonder. I am good, it's no one's fault. The upside for me is I learned to pick myself up over and over, while finding what works best at helping me out. The pattern of no one being available to be there for me luckily was my way to find out how to help myself. I discovered many ways, but the three I have used most are:</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Screaming and crying in pillows</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Big, long, heavy workouts (weights and kickboxing are good), and</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Praying</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Now here is the second part, explaining what I mean by that no one responds when I have reach out for help when I feel like I am rock bottom. I will give you one example, and it was the last time I reach out to people when I felt I was stuck at the bottom of a deep dark pit. When I say no one responds, no one responds! None! At my worse times I used to try and get someone, anyone I loved, to hear me. There was no answer to the phone calls, the door knocks, the emails, the text messages. If anyone out there is thinking that that is impossible in thirty-plus years of someone's life, apparently it is not. I almost laugh in writing that by the way, sorry but I do. And that is why I am not mad.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Awhile back I had a really rough week, and already the supports that were once there at work for all us workers were no longer as they once were, and therefore I did not feel comfortable turning to them, and hadn't after that. I was burnt out, sad, angry, and needed someone to listen to me vent, and maybe give me a huge hug, and maybe let me cry. If no hugs then at least let me talk. It had been a LONG time since I felt so down and out, and it felt like I was about to go insane as one negative thought after another kept piling in my head and making me feel worse with each passing moment. So, I took the chance to reach out... and boy did I ever! I called my parents, my sisters, and my grandparents and left them each a voicemail asking them to call me when they got the message. Then, I messaged/texted friends' cell phones, even social media sites, asking them if I could see them, or talk to them. I even door knocked when my Bestie didn't answer my messages. There was no response. Nothing! I knew when I did this that I already knew better than to be seeking everyone out like that, but I did anyway. In earlier years I did not have cell phone or internet to give me the easier access, and even now, with all those things the trend remains... I don't get an answer. That's how the universe works it with me on that aspect of my life.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">In case anyone is wondering if any answer comes later, yes, it does. The responses come late at night when I have fallen asleep or the next day. The responses are actually all quite similar:</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">They went to bed early or were napping</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">They were super busy</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">They missed the messages and voicemails.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">It's all good. I know how to fix myself and what I need to do and I am doing great. However, I face another trend....</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">These days it feels like people are now hovering over me and worrying when everything with me is fine. Two friends came out of the blue to see me, and I hadn't seen them in a long time, not since Mom's death which is almost a year ago already, and they both said the same thing when I saw each of them: "If Mohammed won't come to the mountain then the mountain comes to you my dear." And then they wonder how I am and have been worried despite we are all on the same social media sites and they should already know, and I know they know because they have written to me there. I let them know I was good, especially as of late I am quite well. But the worry hasn't stopped with them. Now, speaking of social media there are some worries that arise from status updates, wherein if I post too late at night or too early in the morning I have been getting asked if I stayed up all night and if I am okay. I find that one interesting. I have been asked if I am feeling well, and that one confuses me a bit considering everyone else these days is sick (some are really unwell with some sort of cold) but not me. I am totally healthy. Thumbs up over here!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">I guess I could chalk it up to that it is probably because Mom passed away last year, however, like I said earlier, it is already almost a year, and things are much better at the moment. Everyone I love is much better these days besides colds or flus happening. But the focus has seemed to be on me more than others, and it makes me feel like I am being watched. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Maybe if I was younger again and this was happening I would perhaps relish (big IF though) in this spotlight of concern and even throw myself into everyone's arms and soak it up and allow myself to be coddled and be grateful for being so noticed. But the instinct to be that overly grateful or filled with joy is not in me. If it ever was it is not now. The instinct to need was once there yes, to switch back to it, or, to be excited by such attention, no! It's just the way I am now. If anything is to be learned it has been being able to cope better with life, and help pass it on to others who have had similar experiences as I.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">As the spotlight of attention is being pointed on me I have been light hearted and even joking in my responses because there is nothing wrong. I keep it upbeat and positive even though my first reaction is annoyance and confusion. I first mull over as to why they are concerned. Then the more it happens I am kind of feeling invaded. I am kind of worried that if this persists I am going to get snappy. I am someone who needs a lot of space and I feel like people are forgetting that.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Ah! The universe! Is it trying to add another trend? Is this it's bizarre way of joking with me? When nothing is wrong with me everyone is to fret and dote upon me? But in times of crisis everyone is to disappear? I am fine with one trend, I don't think I need this new one. I am just not keen on it. Thanks!</span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"><strong><span style="color: black; font-family: Georgia;">~Ange</span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><strong><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></strong></span><strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong></span></span><br />
</span><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"></span><br /></span></strong>Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-45267080209351461152015-10-06T09:44:00.003-07:002015-10-06T09:44:57.346-07:00No Posts. But... Getting Lots Done - October 6, 2015<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">There may be little writing, or rather, a finished product of my written works. And there may be a lack of online presence, however, much has been done that required my immediate attention and it feels good for it all to be complete.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;">For the last several years of my Mother's life one of her many unfulfilled goals was to clean up her house and sell it. My siblings and I have now done that. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;">I spent a whole week of what felt like physical therapy in cleaning out her house. It was not only great exercise, but therapeutic in cleaning out a house (to be sold as a fixer upper while the bare bones of the house is excellent) that had many dark memories of abuses done against my Mother and the verbal and emotional abuses that us, her children, suffered. I would sometimes stand a few feet from the giant garbage bin and throw things as hard as I could in, especially if it was glass or something I knew could definitely smash in there; the sound made me feel good each time. My siblings found it to be the same. It was good for me on all levels: emotionally, mentally, physically and even spiritually. It was like a cleanse from the inside out.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;">In each of our own lives amongst my family and friends it seems a deep cleansing is taking place. Something in the air causing it maybe? Its like a spring cleaning for our bodies, as well as our environments, particularly where we live; everything from our possessions to those nasty files and paperwork all of us had lying around. I know for me it feels like a great weight has been lifted. Wow!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;">Also, keeping the ties that bind has been of great importance. </span></strong><strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;">I have fought for the closeness to my extended family where others have not for a very long time now (too long). In some cases it was because certain members of my family were too busy dwelling on past hurts to try and heal the wounds over the years. As many of us out there know who have had to deal with this kind of thing, situations like these just fester and worsen all the time; and that definitely was the case with my family let me tell you. Rather than working at forgiveness and strengthen the weakened bonds they often would prefer to stew in their anger. It has slowly fixed itself, and I have worked hard to lead by example the importance of family and togetherness. Now that it is better, I am going to hang onto this so and continue to work hard so that these disconnects stop occurring. Life is too short. (That could be a whole other essay onto itself, but I don't wish to at this time).</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;">Though this road (particularly this past year) has had my loved ones and I suffering many hardships, there has been many moments, both small and big, that have made it so worth it. They even seem to give me just enough rest, relaxation, and moments of pure joy that it has refreshed me to march on.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;">Something small, and may sound silly was one night we were all staying the night at my Grandmother's and I took the couch. Grandma got me to blankets and tucked me in. Yes, I am a grown woman and my Grandmother tucked me into bed. I loved it.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;">There has been many more moments for my sisters and I to relax together and when we do it has been filled with laughing, crying, reminiscing, talking of our goals in life. It feels amazing!</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;">My Bestie and I hung out yesterday and went adventuring around places in the city we live in that we had never been to before. Our day was filled with laughter, teasing each other, great food, refreshing beverages, picture taking and just feeling blessed to be alive. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">~Ange</span></strong></span><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br /><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-size: x-small;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></strong></span><strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong></span></span>Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-14012103917377472642015-09-19T09:50:00.001-07:002015-09-19T09:50:15.229-07:00The Hero of the Day - September 19, 2015<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">The day that I saw a hero help someone out happened a few weeks ago but I never got to sit down to share it... better late than ever.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">I arrived at the bus depot to purchase my ticket for my journey to see my family, and the room where I was to get it is circular, with old carpet that looks to be from the eighties, and chairs lined up all against the wall. It is large enough that about fifteen people can relax comfortably in there to wait for the bus before it gets congested, so its old, but quite cozy. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">As the customer service representative and I have our usual chat (I have come here frequently to catch my ride to my family in the great white north of the province I live in so here and I kind of know each other) a tiny dark haired woman enters the room. Being a people watcher and a pretty good reader of folk with my observation skills I sized up the small lady quickly: she doesn't want to alarm or draw any attention to herself, but chewing her finger nails and her eyes are darting about the floor, especially at the chairs, tells it all... she has lost something valuable and is about to have a panic attack if she doesn't find what she is looking for. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">The CSR and I both asked if she was alright and what was she looking for. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">With a shaky voice and clasping her hands together she said, "I lost my rings." </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">The CSR had already turned her attention back to writing up my bill and raises her left hand and sticks out her pinky to the lady for her to see. There on the tiny finger is two rings. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">"These rings here, my dear?" </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">I realized there was a diamond ring and a wedding ring on her pinky. The rings looked old, but beautiful. Like something that got older the older they got. Elegant.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">The dark haired woman got on her knees like a child at prayer and held the CSR's hand between her two palms and wept.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">When her head came up she smiled and said, "I thought to myself: thirty-seven years of being happily married and then I lose the rings...," her voice tremors a bit, "I would have broke his heart."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">We all could feel what she felt. Her relief and joy.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">After the rings returned to their rightful place on her hand, she held it up and gave a quiet laugh and said, "Oh my, I just can't stop shaking."</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">The CSR started to explain how a small girl found them, and I decided to give everyone a moment to talk and have some space so I headed outside to wait for the bus, passing a tall skinny man who was standing and smoking cigarettes with a very short person wearing a dark ball cap with small tuffs of hair sticking out from underneath, and they also wore sweat pants and a dark shirt. I actually at a glance thought it was a small, young man.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">Suddenly the CSR appeared outside as well and says to the tiny person in the sweat pants and ball cap, "My dear girl come, the rings you returned found their way back to the lady they belonged to and she wishes to thank you. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">This was the girl who turned in the rings, the little hero of the day.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">The girl blushed and snuffed out the cigarette saying, "That's not necessary, she doesn't have to..." but before she could finish the sentence the CSR reinforced that she go talk to the lady.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">Several minutes the little hero returned and it was then I noticed her feet. She was wearing shiny metallic gray shoes with thin-stringed bows on them. This was a complete contrast to the rest of her ensemble.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">For the rest of my life I am sure when I consider all the little unsung heroes of the day I will always think of her first. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">So if any of you out there ever see a small tomboyish girl in a black cap, sweat pants, and shiny shoes with bows on them, that may be her. And maybe she will save the day again.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;"><strong><span style="color: blue; font-family: Georgia;">~Ange</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /><span style="color: blue;"></span></span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"><strong><span style="color: blue; font-size: x-small;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></strong></span><strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong></span><br />
Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-20818173326227117822015-08-29T09:43:00.004-07:002015-08-29T09:43:24.164-07:00Turn It Off & Put It Down - August 29, 2015<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">This is a topic I am sure many of us out there has dwelled upon and discussed amongst ourselves, as I too have witnessed some debates on the matter, well, even arguments. The matter is about the frequency of cell phones in use. For me, I have very personal feelings on this topic. As some of you may have already deduced from previous blogs I have this feeling of hatred toward my own cell phone.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">I will not be explaining my anger toward others on cell phones when they are in motion: meaning when people are using them while on foot, biking, or driving... or any other way I may have missed mentioning where accidents were caused, injuries or even deaths. If I had a discussion on the topic of the dangers of cellular devices it would require a whole other blog, and it's just too heartbreaking and makes me want to cry when I think on it. Instead, I am merely discussing my anger I have towards cell phones with respect to them being used in the presence of other people in social gatherings. You know... people using their phones when they are supposed to be spending quality time together. To start off, I would like to share my resentment toward my cell.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">I didn't always dislike my cell phone as much as I do now. But in recent years the emotion of hate toward it certainly has grew. Did I mention I have a list (I like making lists) of reason why I hate mine in particular? I have a list:</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">-A heavy a reliance on it due to the pressures and expectations from others in my life to pay attention and respond to anything they send to me through the cell immediately. And most often these are people who are constantly on their cell phones (big surprise).</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">-In relation to the first reason where people are getting angry or stressed by a non-immediate response, it's funny how I could write something I require immediate attention to and could even write, "URGENT!" in my messages but I don't get an answer for a long time; even too late in some cases. Thus, that too makes me hate the beastly gadget (yes I am aware that by now I should be angry at the people and not the cell but alas I hate it anyway and blame it still, and at least I am honest about it).</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">-I hate the noises it makes. Any noise it makes, including vibrations and the messages I can sense coming through even though I have it on silent modes. I have disturbed a few pals on my ability to be able to sense things coming through on the cell when it is quiet.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">-The days I want everyone to leave me alone is when the phone gets the busiest. And if it is urgent then I have to keep it on, especially with the number of emergencies and crises I have been dealing with in my life I of course keep it on and ensure that everything is resolved and everyone is okay. But, it feels like a flood hitting me when this happens and I am held down and can't get a up; a metaphor that my life keeps getting stalled by one emergency after another and can't move forward.</span></strong><br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">However, when the world does not need saving and I am certain I can get away with it I save my own senses instead and turn the phone off. It gives me rest, and a much peaceful end to my day without any technological distractions. For instance, the usual things happen like all those lovely walks, books to read, things to write about, sitting down and doing art hobbies, or even clean... and all without distractions from anyone else. It's nice, like how living was when I was younger and there was no cell phone and I didn't have to check it constantly, and just live.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">My idea of living is drinking in the moments of life with other people in it (yes even to this lone wolf). That's where I am going into with how people are annoying me by being more focused on their phones than what is <em>going on right in front of them</em>. I get angry about it, even sad.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">Sadly, in almost every outing with a group of people I am with there is someone (even more than one person in the group doing it) who focuses on their cell phone instead of listening to other people who are speaking. Sometimes it is even throughout the whole social outing. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">We could debate on the issue of emergencies or bad things going on in peoples' lives that requires them to keep it on and keep checking to make sure everything is alright, but honestly, my take is this, do what I do, and maybe stay at home. Perhaps that notion doesn't work for everyone and they still want to have a social life while needing to be on the phone all the time in case something bad happens, however, is that really having a social life? Maybe I am wrong. When I stay at home because I know I need to take all those phone calls and messages because there is a crisis to deal with it is easier for me to deal with it there. Even though I am missing out on the social outing I am missing out on it at home, and not in front of other people while I am consistently staring at my phone or taking calls or messages in the middle of the gathering. I feel like if I cannot be immersed in the social gatherings of the people I love and care about then people will either be offended or deeply concerned if I am on the phone the whole time because things are not going well in my life. I either need to be alone, or, when it's not to be a fun time together and a private time to vent then my trusted buddies and I go do that. There are more appropriate locations that are more reserved and quiet for such times to me. And from what I have experienced most people leave a social gathering or don't show up when things are urgent in their lives. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">When you know it is not an emergency and people are still starting at the phone rather than being involved in the people who are talking, I have a problem with that. That makes me feel like that whoever is speaking in that moment is not being heard, their feelings are being ignored, their stories do no compute with the cellular user at present. Worse, that means they are disrespectful, and they don't think others are important when they are on that cell phone and not putting it down, or turning it off when someone is speaking to them. It also makes me think there is some sort of self-centeredness going on, what I mean is, it comes across that unless the attention is on them then they are finding it elsewhere. Well, that's my thought, I could be wrong. Or, another way to word it... the attention from the phone seems so self-important that it takes precedence over others they could be visiting with at present. Am I wrong? Maybe, but that's what makes me think on the matter.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">Recently a coworker asked me question when this topic came up and it got slightly heated amongst a few people: what do you do then, just turn it off? And my answer was, YES! Everyone, I do turn it off.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">When I am socializing with other people, I turn it off. I do follow my own rules with myself.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">Why? How can I just put it away like that? Well, because if I am constantly focused on the phone or worried about the next emergency or crisis, I miss out on what's most important, and what is most important is people.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">This lonewolf still loves people, and is still curious about the world around her, and everyone's stories. I love listening to other people and listening about their lives; I not only love and care about them I love what everyone has to teach me. I am fascinated by the person or people in front of me and I hope that they feel like I am fully into them and their lives and hanging on their every word, even feeling what they are feeing; whether it is sadness or anger, or happy and excited for the things that are happening in their lives... I want to be there for them and never let them doubt that I am. It's called love, being supportive, respectful and living in the moments with them. Or, as the old saying goes, drinking in those precious moments of life with them.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">~Ange</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-size: x-small;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></strong></span></span><strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong>Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-5175013390197861022015-08-22T09:58:00.002-07:002015-08-22T09:58:27.593-07:00When You Care So Much That You Don't Care - August 22, 2015<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>There are those of us out there who care so much that we learn what's important to care about, and where not to care for the sake of ourselves and those we love around us. I went through a list in my head recently as I like writing, I like lists, and I find it helps keeps things in order and altogether for me.</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><u>I care about gossiping:</u> </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">...especially about others and when it is hurting others, making them uncomfortable, and worse when the gossipers are lying. When it comes to myself, I don't give a s*^t, because as far as I am concerned if you have a genuine problem with me and want it resolved, or, are up to the task of asking questions rather than speculating, you will come to me and hash it out. If you cannot do that, then the problem is yours, and not mine, and I do not care. Also it tells me you are a coward and do not the have any guts or bravery to approach your issues with me. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">This next one kind of relates to gossips...</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><u>My life is my life, your life is your life:</u> </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">We are not living each other's lives, we each have our own lives, and as far as I am concerned it takes a lot of time and energy to make my machine called MY LIFE run the way it does. And guess what, it works really well, the system is just fine: I pay bills fully and on time, I work, I have a routine, and there is even time between crises to spend quality time with loved ones and enjoy those nerdy boring hobbies of mine called reading, writing, working out, playing video games, watch rentals, and adventure to new (or even old) places I love so much. Not bad I'd say. If that's a problem for others, well, it's not their life and I could say a lot about how others live their lives and how it is clearly not working for them because of the self-made issues it has created for them. So I am not very good or listening or caring when people critique my life, just not. It's hard enough to take care of our own lives rather than fussing over each other's, so... let's not let each other's lives be dwelled upon and gossiped about so heavily unless their is issues that wrongfully trickles and interferes into one another's lives, because then, yes, there is a problem... especially if poor decision making and looking for other's to resolve your life when you have made <em><u>such foreseeable</u></em> catastrophic decision making (can't get over how often that happens in the world) is interfering in someone else's well oiled and very balanced life... like my own. That's wrong, and it is not okay in my books. And I tend to care less and less for yours as a result with such interference. I wonder if other people feel this way as I do? Some examples are addictions of various kinds, poor planning and financial decision making, and using other people for own personal gain only to backfire (rightfully so) and then try other people to sympathize or fix their situation. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">I care more if there is a catastrophe or crisis that was taken out of someone's hands.. like a sudden firing or lay off, or natural disasters, or accidents, health issues, people in such pain that they don't know how to help themselves because they are so stressed or emotionally distraught. I care more about those situations. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;">Frankly this was something I really just felt needed to get off my chest and it feels good to have done it... MOVING ON!</span></strong><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">~Ange</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"><strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-size: x-small;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></strong></span></span><strong><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong>Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-81447940835479852015-08-22T09:38:00.004-07:002015-08-22T09:38:39.338-07:00The Unknown - August 22, 2015<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">This has been an interesting month so far, and it is not over yet...</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;">Many things have occurred, with some I can share here, and others I cannot due to confidentiality of others whom I wish to keep their privacy safe. But, as always, I can discuss the ones pertaining to me of course which lead to my topic in the title. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;">With my Mom's passing, people making trouble for themselves and trying to get I or others to fix it, dramatics, and being sick (which I rarely do and I hate it because it is a complete waste of my time), there is no wonder at times I feel sad, depressed, down and out, confused, and trying to find a game plan to change that; because I am worried about losing my natural happy-go-lucky self all together and thus lose myself forever. These self reflections have made me realize where I am strong, where some things will take time to get to, and what needs to change immediately for the sake of my mind, feelings, body, and soul. Health is a big one, my stress levels, and therefore my soul.. my spirit. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;">I come from a family of folk where on the maternal side there are a number of people who require those medications to help with maintaining their emotional equilibrium; it helps a lot but of course they wish their bodies and minds would not be so tough on them... that LIFE wasn't so tough on them so they wouldn't need it despite they are very grateful for it. As for me, I know I have been through hell in back and perhaps it is my belief in the big guy in the sky, something different about my genes, or even the crises I have faced, but I have always known I need time to feel the emotions ~no matter what they are~ and then move on from it. Learn what to do next time and what works for me and help me pull through it; even if it is just extra sleep, playing video games, extra exercise, adding or taking away from my food intake, or being with loved ones. I just know that substances of any kind in the alcohol and drug departments are never going to work for me. I know that more and more as I get older. It would probably feel too numbing, and I wouldn't learn anything from it. That's my take on it. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;">Also, my imagination has always worked wonders for me. I have a dark side, and though it rarely comes out (thank goodness for the world) the upside is when you play out some things in your head of what you would want to say or do to people who annoy you or make you angry (especially when they are so immoral) it can feel liberating. You'd never actually do it, but imagining it helps, and I am sure I am not the only person who does it. For instance, when I am full on stressed and angry about something I go for a run, and you sometimes come across some jerks who say something rude to you ~even to other people that can bug me too~ lipping them off back that scares them into shutting up always makes me feel a lot better, even though on top of that I fantasize after of having inflicted some sort of physical pain on them. I would never did it, and the only time that would ever happen is when I would feel myself or others are in danger. But I feel better after. Stress free.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;">I know these days there many things that are continually blocking me, especially more crises that require my attention but, I can change that, and I know how to. As you get older and the fear lessens and you go through the hell that I and my loved ones have been you know what to do and how to do it, but sometimes the fear is still there. Fear of change, the unknown, the unfamiliar. However, I did notice what has erupted from that... a sense of adventure, excitement, the potential in myself, the potential for an even better, amazing life. Taking a chance rather than regretting never have tried. Looking at the definite positives rather than the worry of what could go wrong, or how I could fail. And rather than looking at how I could fall from glory, fail, lose so much look at my potential, the good in me, what I have to offer and where I could go from here... I realized in not having that viewpoint I am being unfair to myself, too hard on myself, and very unkind to myself. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;">It is time to try and face the unknown.</span></strong><strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;"><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia;">~Ange</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /><span style="color: #990000;"></span></span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"><strong><span style="color: #990000; font-size: x-small;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></strong></span></span><br />Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-16869344127081968442015-08-06T09:22:00.001-07:002015-08-06T09:22:36.756-07:00As a Pedestrian - August 6, 2015<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">There are certain rules I have set for myself to follow as a pedestrian that are important to me. I often remind myself of them especially on the weekends, as that is when I am out and about the most. All of us are different, having our own certain rules and respects to the roads and even sidewalks, however, that doesn't mean we all can't have some rules and respects to one another to ensure some sort of trust in valuing in each other's lives or welfare... right?</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I have chosen my pedestrian rules as oppose to my rules for being a biker, driver, or even a transit user as I am most often on my feet to get somewhere anyway and therefore am reminding myself of my rules more frequently as a pedestrian.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-enjoy my music while also keeping attention to others, even drivers.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-keeping a watchful eye in front and over my shoulders</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-cell phone is for when I am safely in a shop, on a bench, or in a safe spot on the sidewalks or paths</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">-be courteous and walk around others</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I may enjoy my music and appear to live with my headphones on all the time, however, I am aware of how music makes me daydream easily and distract me from paying attention to the signal lights on the city streets, pedestrian walks or shared pathways with bikers, runners and other folks. Therefore, daydreaming is for the buses and trains, and if I wish to continue feeling carefree to listen to music I must also pay attention to other humans, and that rule includes my phone too. I save the phone for when I have safely crossed the path or road I have taken and am off to side out of everyone else's way, or in a shop, or even sitting down on a bench. If I am not paying attention I could get injured by drivers and others who are not (prevention), or I may cause an incident.</span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Keeping an eye on the roads and sidewalks or other pathways both at the front of me and over my shoulder. This is important to me in areas with high volumes of other folk who could also be running or even biking. I often stick to the sides to make it easier for others who are faster than me to pass by. I I like to keep watching out for others to politely walk around, or make it easier for bikers to pass. I am even looking back and forth on the roads constantly for vehicles even when the pedestrian sign is flashing as that also means other drivers often are allowed to go too and they may have to turn in my direction, and though they do have to wait for us walkers I still keep an eye on them. I like to think of it as my version of defensive walking. Even though pedestrians have the right of way, not all drivers are paying attention as they should and it could mean the difference between my soft watery body keeping safe and their ton-sized vehicles getting too close. I watch, and make sure I am still not about to get hit, and gesture (no not the way you are thinking) if they are out of line for trying to either make me nervous to walk faster by drawing closer, or honking or anything like that. I ensure I report incidences as required. Someone almost hit me once for not looking both ways, and their look of fear and guilt was enough for me to lead me to think they thought twice about looking both ways, however, the other pedestrians did not think so and three of them reported what they saw. Lesson learned I hope. </span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></b>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>As for cellular devices well... I have probably seen just as many pedestrians as drivers absorbed in their cell phones when they should be paying attention to their surroundings. I reserve cellular use for the time I said above. It's just safer really.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b>As for walking around others.. well that's obvious. Especially if it is anyone older than I, people with children, people carrying lots of things (heavy load of groceries) and I can maneuver easily around. Otherwise if my arms are full and I am slow moving, or paths and stairs in public places are narrow and I was kind of there first to one side, I am going to have to expect others to do the same for me (walk around me) in those instances. Or I hope they do.</b></span><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;">~Ange</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"><strong><span style="color: black; font-size: x-small;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</span></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-5677901941560462532015-07-29T16:20:00.004-07:002015-08-06T09:22:21.951-07:00Vacation Reflection - July 29, 2015<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;">For a few days I had no cell phone on, and I took it apart for extra peace and quiet. </span></b><br />
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;">Then I was way out in the middle of nowhere at my grandparents' farm, where I could sleep, eat, and work hard with them. Mostly Grandma and I found ourselves resting, chatting and catching up and napping in between. Then we would find the energy to do some work, then go back to resting. It's exactly what I needed, and I think she did too.</span></b><br />
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;">Both of us are hard working women, and sometimes having others, and in our case each other, to validate that we are okay to relax and rest and ignore the world's expectation of us for a couple of days. </span></b><br />
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;">In that time, I had much to reflect on already, and I am not even halfway through my break. Nothing I thought of triggered stress nor caused me anxiety, but I was glad to sift the entire mess in my head and figure some things out that weighed on me. Now it doesn't weigh, and what I choose next in life I pray is for my betterment and others; even those who may rage against my change because they lose out of their own personal gains, but I want my life back, I know what feels right to me and what I need to do: </span></b><br />
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;">In my old age I have come to get better at being eloquent in my diplomatic way of telling loved ones and friends some hard truths, rather than just being assertive and holding my ground politely. Verbal aggression and making people sting are only required when they need a real reality check, but that comes after the first round or two of people just not listening to me or others and thinking they can bully themselves into getting what they want. So I remind myself of this: I can do it, and tactfully unless otherwise. Then the time comes, which is very soon, I have to do just that, and I believe I can do it well. My biggest critic which is myself is having less of a say these days and I am trusting myself more that I can do right without the constant pessimism of things possibly going bad every time I have to do something like this.</span></b><br />
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;">That I deserve to try to love another again, take on my hobbies and side projects without so much interruption of fixing others problems that are so easy to work on and remedy, even if they believe they don't have to put in any work for themselves, or, they think any work is too hard.</span></b><br />
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;">In the next year I will take travels overseas on my breaks. Learn about the world more, be in awe and be taught by others of what life is like for them.</span></b><br />
<br />
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Appreciating the fact that I know how to rest and relax and take time away from the hectic atmospheres in certain parts of my life. That I still know how to take a vacation. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>I am pretty good at fighting the monsters of this world.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: purple;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;">I will finish writing my book. Finish my poetry collections for print. Complete my series of short stories. Be a better writer.... THIS ONE IS THE BIG FOR ME!!! :)</span></b><br />
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></b>
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple;">~Ange.</span></b><br />
<strong><span style="color: purple;"><br /></span></strong><br />
<span style="color: purple; font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-small;"><strong>Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties.</strong></span><br />
<div>
<b style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: purple; font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></b>
</div>
<br />Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-42734698875772983512015-07-27T12:34:00.001-07:002015-07-27T12:34:52.268-07:00My Favourite Thing, Turning the Phone Off - July 27, 2015<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Vacation is here. Along with my time off comes one of my nasty habits I just relish getting into on long breaks... Turning my cell off. Isn't it awful? The old lonewolf turning off her cell phone for so many days? No texts to read, no phone calls to take, and no voice mails to hear. </b></span></span><br />
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>If I want to check any online messages I have access to internet pretty easily. That includes my blogs here as well. However, my cell is the real thorn in my side technology and internet-wise and not through computers; where I don't receive voice mails, texts or phone calls. Everyone I know seems to be constantly calling, texting, even leaving more voice mails. I have never adjusted to this, usually my phone has been silent. For many weeks, NO, months now, it feels like it is burning out; well, I can't speak for my phone I guess, but I am burnt out from the amount of high usage I have with it. Thank God for my cell plan to save me money, or I would be extra annoyed with the amount of money I would be required to cover my bill.</b></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>Besides my need to keep the phone off, but even taken apart (yes, taken apart, you read that right folks), but I believe it will also do the following three things:</b></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>-Teach others to survive on their own and get going on their own lives. Particularly full grown humans who know better and know exactly what they need to do.</b></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>-Less stress for me and will feel less annoyed or feel like people are trying to obligate me to fix their lives for them</b></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>-Because I believe I need to be cut off every now and then and have more peace and quiet, something I have had to fight and win all my life, and one day won't have to anymore I pray. So moments like turning off a cell, a device where everyone can reach me anytime, and all the time needs to be shut down, torn apart so no one can do so and I don't have to give it a second though.</b></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>There many people including my surviving parent who have made decisions without solid plans, nor any well placed steps to follow nor back up plans. It has become a situation in their lives where all these people didn't plan anything, they were too busy living in the moment without thoughts to the consequences or as to what could happen if they don't plan accordingly or if things go wrong. Then what happens when things don't go right they don't want to take responsibility for their actions and have to fix it themselves either they try to get me to or worse, mooch and lean on me and then keep making the same mistakes because they haven't learned their lesson. Like my ex, I am a convenience in their eyes. However, I am a realist, I ask them questions and force them to self-reflect or I draw a line in the sand and prompt them they need to fix themselves and to take care of themselves. But despite that, they still think by trying or pressuring it will make things change and they will get their way and won't have to work for their lives, make sacrifices and make the hard decisions for they continue to try and find people, anyone else, to fix their lives for them, achieve their goals and successes. People like me.</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>What none of them realize is the sacrifices I have made in life, the hard (but right and just and what I feel is highly moral) decisions that got me to where I am today is why I am successful. The journey. The unbeaten path. Through it I learned to be stronger, realistic, have a plan, be highly organized, and foresee what needs to be done more clearly all the time. And as I age, and become more knowledgeable, what I want to do, learn next and become better than I already am. It's hard enough to do all that with one's self and try and look out for others without doing everything for them; getting them to pick up themselves and learn and move on.... something that I see is becoming less likely to happen. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>But I am not God, I am not Superman, I can't be everywhere at once taking care of everyone at once, and coddling and solving everything for everyone. I have my own journey that everyone keeps interrupting because they are trying to step on my mine to get to what they want, or where they want to go in life. Especially when I see how easily they could do it, even directing them verbally. Yet every time I lend support through my ears and words and support through instruction (not bad plans even if they thought about it) all I see is the expressions on their face of it being too hard, that I won't do the work for them; they all want instant success and not have to do a damn thing to obtain what they want in life. Well, I have don this, time for others to do the same. It sounds harsh, cold, even unloving. But I believe that it actually is probably the most loving thing I can do for them, and it helps to give a real reality check. </b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>I have worked hard, I deserve to start living more and continue on where I left off four years ago when I left my long term relationship. While he and everyone else is still figuring things out and looking for everyone else to blame for their mistakes in life or lean on everyone else for their happiness I walk away from the dramatic chaos and troubling feelings of being used, and gonna continue on the next phase of the unbeaten path, and start to climb some big hills. Otherwise how will I ever conquer the mountains I see in the distance?</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span style="color: #990000; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b>~Ange</b></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #990000;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<strong style="font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties<span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></strong></span></div>
Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-12542348886553667352015-07-25T09:25:00.000-07:002015-07-27T12:34:30.417-07:00Reflecting On Old Reflections - July 25, 2015<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>When life gets busy, really fast, AND, when people are surrounding you (a lonewolf) twenty-four-seven, it seems there is never enough time to write. I want to change that.</strong></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia;"><br /></span></strong>
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was going through some old diaries, journals, short stories and poems, and I came across many articles I had created but had not looked at for a long time.</strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I was fascinated to read one paper in particular that made realize how far I had come. A woman who was afraid of what was happening in life and where she was going. I was in fear of the unknown, I was in fear of what came next. </strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I ask the same questions, but with a different mindset, a different mood. Thus I realized that I am older, wiser, and a lot less fearful, and in a very short period of time.</strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Here is what I wrote, and I wanted to share in case someone else out there relates, and could perhaps find comfort in knowing they are not alone; other people who have felt the same way as I have:</strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">(Written about four years ago shortly before I broke up with my partner of over six years)</strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><br /></strong></span>
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>"Wonders....</strong></span><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What do you do, when you have no clue of what to do? Especially when you are someone who is always sure of what to do..</strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You know yourself so well, and then, some things come along that contradict you, yourself, your entire being... What happens next?</strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You may find yourself reaching for God, searching for signs, looking, seeking, wanting answers.. and you find the answers are not there, or you just can't see them yet. And you worry you missed them, or worse, that they are already there but you are looking at something else instead that you <em>think</em> could be the answer for you. And what if you actually <em>cannot tell</em> what is staring right in front of your face because it's not the answer you think it should be?</strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">What if the answer you get is something you end up thinking it's wrong? You think it is wrong because it is the total opposite of who you are; your morals, what you believe is right and wrong... the answer just doesn't match. It feels like such a contradiction, but yet it feels so entirely right... perfect, even.</strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> ...Then... what do you do?</strong><br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<strong style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> What, am I, supposed to do?</strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #38761d; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong>~Ange</strong></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><span style="color: #38761d;"><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties<span style="font-size: small;">.</span></span></strong></span></span></span>Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-17009450226752647302015-07-12T12:21:00.002-07:002015-11-05T12:31:06.895-08:00I Am Super Giddy - July 12, 2015<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have had the most astounding weekend in awhile. So many things to tell, but not very much time after such a busy two days to tell. It was filled with adventures, surprises, and epiphanies which have resulted in game plans. These little events that occurred are all going to be shared in the next several postings, as it would take too long to tell all in one day, but here are some highlights.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";">I have gained inspiration that I am on the right track with where I want to go and what I want to do in my life right now from a delightful tiny old man with no hair, who wore big black glasses, and had on a lovely blue shirt and shiny black pants. After focusing on him at my favourite book store for an hour, I realized when I grow up I want to be like him. What he was doing in that hour drew me in.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";">The second thing I could go into great detail about (already have in a few of my postings) of what is bothering me in life, specifically the work sphere. However, I am not going to, or at least not right now, especially as some of it is repetitious and I am rather sick of venting about it. But. I think I found the words which are the best way to sum it up, and they are two words. <em>Boredom burnout</em>! That expresses it the best.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";">Thirdly. Though I frequently go on many mini adventures around my favourite city and often try to invoke spontaneity when I see the moments presented to me, I need way more of them than I am getting. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";">The last big thing for me was figuring out that I don't get giddy or excited like I should. Grant it with everything that has happened that past three and a half years of course it's hard to get excited or giddy when you keep getting blindsided by some of the worst things that have ever happened to me, however, I have started getting excited again, and very giddy; particularly today. That and mixed with a large amount of caffeine it has made me almost shaky. Today, there has been at least four times I wanted to jump up and down and squeal with delight, and all of them were out in public places. I guess I could I just worry about freaking out people around me, especially people with small children. I wanted jump up and squeal at the book store, a bus stop, the library and even in the middle of a hallway at a mall. I will save it for when I get home. </span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";">What moments in your life has made you so giddy that you could've (maybe you had) squealed and jumped up and down in public places?</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";">~Ange.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />
<span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";">
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><strong><span style="font-family: "georgia"; font-size: x-small;"><span style="color: magenta;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties</span>.</span></span></strong></span></span><br />
<strong><span style="color: magenta; font-family: "georgia";"></span></strong><br />Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-542319093193188969.post-60329724996734705622015-07-06T18:06:00.003-07:002015-07-06T18:06:52.756-07:00Online Shopping Is Not Really My Thing - July 6, 2015<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">There are two types of shopping for me, the, "Must be done, or I die," and the, "relaxed." Okay I wouldn't necessarily die but they are essentials I require like my groceries, clothing, health and beauty care, then usually getting my bills done while I am at it. Generally I take one day a month and I do my, "shop or die," in one big haul; anything that I must have to live gets done on that appointed day. After all, it takes a lot to take care of one person sometimes, even just myself I have found. Necessary shopping feels better for me to get done in one whole day and then I do not have to worry about it for the rest of the month. Meanwhile I have lists of all kinds to keep track of what I am running out of or I need to replace so I don't forget when the day comes. A handful of years ago it became a great teaching tool for me of making things last as long as possible and not to be excessive with what I buy. Having it pre-planned well by following my lists and then mapping the city to where I need to go is adventurous and adds a sense of fun for my least favourite type of shopping, which has helped greatly and I am actually enjoying it more than ever now. I have many different places I go for particular things, and I will go very far for what works for me and to maintain my beastly-frugal habits; I seem to find the cheapest of what I need and will go far to get them, even halfway across this great city I live in.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">I love to bus and walk when I shop, even haul things around. Even one of my sisters called me a, "true bag lady," as I hauled around recycle bags full of my items and I had about three bags on one arm and two on the other. Perhaps I am. Just, please, no one out there be cruel and pull one of the bags off of me because I may fall over to one side! And that was a relaxed day shopping my sister and I had. However, I was helping her carry her things more than what I bought.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">Ah! Relaxed day of shopping... Actually it usually involves more of me window shopping. I do love window shopping. Which is why I could never be an avid online shopper, I love seeing things in person where I can closely stare or even touch, and that includes when the signs say not to.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">Ands most times I don't want CSR's to worry about me, and it can be hard to relax shop if anyone puts you on their radar to make sure you aren't stealing or worse several workers all ask if you need help; even when they have seen others ask and they have clearly heard you say you are just browsing. If I require assistance at the shops I of course am going to ask especially when I am certain they have what I am looking for but it got moved or I just don't see it anywhere. But other than that I prefer to take my time, drink it all in and examine, things, developing my own opinion or impressions. I rarely (if ever) expose myself to commercials, magazines, flyers etc everything that mainstream tries to get us to buy by tantalizing our senses or pushing us that we need certain things, and they hold no sway over me because I like to figure out what I like and need on my own, as I am extremely stubborn that way. I know who I am and what I want and like without being pushed, pressured or anything like that by other people, TV, magazines, billboards, or eve online. Many people have tried to convince me that this is all the more reason to shop online, and no one hassles you and it's convenient and you can get deals. Well, often I can find an even better deal, and most shops know me by now because I always go to the same stores over and over again and I am even acquainted with the owners, managers and staff so that solves my problem there. Usually if I am ambushed it is because I am in a store that is not too familiar with me or I never stepped foot in it before.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">I am a curious person. An investigator, I love browsing, to search, seek, to find things out, even figure things out. Shopping is the most fun for me that way. Ninety percent of the time I am not even buying.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">Don't get me wrong, I am not being negative about online shopping nor my friends and family and acquaintances of all sorts who love it, but it's not for me. And for these people who do, I can see why it is the better option for them.. these are non-people people. What I mean by that is these are folks who have developed a very negative views of the human race in the first place so shopping around is truly not for them. These same people who end up having to go outdoors and shop are the get in and get out type people and seem to get shopping rage quicker than my Dad getting road rage. I have noticed a pattern in my personal life of people around me with a negative view of others correlating with they are avid (even addicted) online shoppers.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">Another thing with online browsing benefits is that it adds to the realization that the world has become a lot smaller and things out of reach are easier to look up and see in store, and if push come to shove I could order from the warehouses if I need to and that's only because usually I am getting gifts for other people and it's stuff they'd really like that I can't find anywhere else at that time.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">Even if I do order online, I often get it sent to the store, because so far (well the record has been one hundred percent so far versus home delivery) they are quick to inform whether or not it's going to get here to me, as well as there will be no mix ups at the office where I live where the parcels get received, or if it became unavailable or delayed the store informs me, and if necessary refunds are super fast.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">Most importantly to me, whether I have orders once in a blue moon, or I am shopping on foot, everywhere I get to interact with people, maybe even make some new friends and learn more about the world.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;">~Ange.</span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia;"></span></strong><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><strong><span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made To Her Thirties</span>.</span></strong></span>Lucky 33http://www.blogger.com/profile/13743777556455978557noreply@blogger.com0