With the New Year to a dramatic-family-issue start, I am
glad for the sense of normal that has
now continued since New Year’s Day that made me very worried if this was to be
the outlook for 2016. However, it seems
that a number of other people faced some hard times, and much of it I related
to. For a number of people they lost
loved ones to old age and illnesses, mostly cancer; even celebrities we know
and love have been lost to it. My heart
breaks and I try to bring them comfort as in know what it is like losing loved
ones cancer; my Mother being one of them.
Then there are the friends and acquaintances who have a
rough start to the year with entirely other matters: dramatic matters, and one could
possibly say… no, I am going to say it is for certain they brought
on themselves; fighting with their own loved ones has been a norm for them. Luckily I am not a part of that
at all, but by all my observations of the situation particularly the stories broadcasting on social media sites, you can tell that this is another crisis
by people who have a pattern of always being in a fight with someone about
something; which made me think on past times of them having the exact same
battle with somebody else before the present one... just keeps happening again, aaaaand again!
Friend 1: Has fallen out with every single family member I
know of, and I am not sure they have any family ties left except for possibly
one. Years ago in their youth, they
slowly dropped out of having a relationship with each of their own blood
relatives: started with siblings spouses which lead to the siblings, to the
parents, to extended family such as cousins, aunts and uncles. These were all people concentrated in one
community. So they turned to their
friends and claimed them as their real
family. Then one by one, they no
longer had a friendship with each of those people. Finally, it was the family members of their spouses; even going so far as to comment that the spouse had better be
choosing them over their spouse’s own family as each one fell out of their lives.
I can understand cutting ties with loved ones when there is a toxic
relationship between the two parties that is doing great harm, I really do. Just like I know that there are two sides to
every story in a falling out. However, when the one person in each situation
complains about the exact same issues with each of these people connected to them it makes me
realize the common denominator in each scenario of these falling outs in this
pal’s life is them. I also being to question that
are perhaps their short comings contribute the repetition of these types
of situations in their relationships with people they once loved and cared
for.
In my total honest opinion of this pal I keep at a length
that is much more than an arm’s length, I believe this is something they thrive
on and will continue to do to people who come into their lives no matter
what. Unless something changes, this is
just going to keep on happening. And I suspect (without going into details) the
relationships they cultivate are for their own benefits with little or regard to
the others involved; that includes some sort of social recognition they are
going for in associating with the people they choose, as well as financial gain, and, they seem to enjoy gossiping and talking
often about others in a negative way that I know they never would if the person
they speak of were standing in front of them. Often looking for all the faults they can point out in other and how they speak of other people whom they are focused on it often sounds like they don’t even really like
the friend, acquaintance, or family member at all. I have often wondered, even at the distance between us what they have said about me when I am not present.
Speaking of always finding fault in others and cutting
bonds, I have a few pals who also started off the New Year looking for a fight.
They have their own certain political, sociological perspectives they strongly
believe in and do their damndest to verbally uphold to everyone around them… It
is also costing one's health and the other their friendships as well.
Pals #2 and #3 in 2016 are very focused on being right and
hammering at others to follow in their own belief systems. I once again point out that not everyone
shares the same beliefs or even the same drives in what is the right way to
change the world. I also believe that if
people are that angry to get into an argument with anyone, anywhere, at anytime, about an issue they are passionate about then I better see them out there
trying to help make those changes, or better yet embody the changes they want to
see. Meaning: funneling their anger and
passion into making the change which requires them to get up and get out in the
real world and do it. These are two
individuals who often claim others picked a fight with them on the issue or
troll on internet sites looking for things that people say that angers
them. All I see when this happens is
typed out confrontations where I know that often it is not going to change
peoples’ opinions they have but add fuel to the anger afterward and the fight
changed nothing. There is enough
fighting in the world, and these ways of arguing I rarely see result in any
good coming out of it; except perhaps for these people to go and find another
fight. Meanwhile Pal #2 has health
issues as a result of much of this and Pal#3 is still jobless, living off the
partner’s hard work and pay cheque and I mostly see them online constantly
raving at the world because no one sees it their way. I am thinking I would like to see them up and
about and less preachy and more action with that talk. That’s just what I think and feel on that matter.
Is this how people really want to start their New Year and
this is how they really want to continue to live their lives?
I think for the amount of trials and tribulation-like issues
my family and I have had to face (illnesses and deaths and people with
addiction issues) when things are quiet and feel normal I am ever-grateful because
it feels like I can breath, that my routine feels more solid, I can focus more
on the hobbies and company of friends that I appreciate, love, and adore. It’s such a blissful, peaceful, quiet
atmosphere that I hold onto each time I obtain it for the time I think the
universe will allow me to have.
My Best Friend recently asked if they, a couple of
pals of ours, and I, were the only ones who genuinely fight
for and enjoy this type of solitude in our lives; as drama free as possible while knowing the reality that things happen in life that are troublesome
and do have to be dealt with. I had to
agree that this was perhaps the case. I
will do what I can to hang onto the family members, friends and coworkers I
can, even with the ups and downs and disagreements and knowing my opinions and
beliefs will not always match theirs.
Life is too short not to love and appreciate it more often.
~Ange
Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties
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