Sunday, 28 June 2015

Workaholic Employers - June 28, 2015

Lately many people I talk to are working for employers who are taking the ways of micromanaging to new levels.  I guess it could be micro-micromanaging? Is that even a word? Or even perfection beyond perfection? I do not know how else to word it.  In some cases on the topic of these types of employers from friends and acquaintances (0r even events I have seen with my own eyes) one story makes me disgusted! Why are some employers getting a little too involved in their employees' personal lives?

In talking to employers I have worked for or even just met and got acquainted with overtime they all claim to thrive in being a workaholic, and couldn't imagine being any other way.  I am not entirely sure that is healthy to be honest.  Perhaps for them it truly is but I don't know, as I have always thought us humans need to appreciate some rest and relaxation.  If people do truly thrive in working all the time, then good for them, but I believe they should not expect others to be workaholics too; especially expecting those who work for them, and nor should they expect their workers lives to parallel to their own personal way of life.  I am going to be frank! To me that is wrong and totally inappropriate. I believe it is crossing the line.

Everyone is different from one another, everyone is unique, and therefore (obviously because we can be so different from one another) each of us has a different type of life compared to the other.  To expect others to be just like them in a workplace including in their personal sphere is quite narcissistic to me.  And in another way, I view it as childish; in fact, I think it is very childish...

Why am I so blunt? I don't like bullies.  But it even carries on into adulthood I guess.  My cousins and I made many other kids happy by driving out bullies off of playgrounds growing up.  Did we get physical? Yes, and only if they physically attacked us after we told them that what they were doing was not okay and that they should get a conscience and leave others be.  As adults it is not a scrap on a playground and it is over with.  Often it seems even more manipulative, immoral, and to me more awful than a scrap on the playground.

I also can't help but notice that those who micromanage also have a tendency to demand perfection while also lacking in observation skills, or even going so far as to assume things of people without asking questions, and meanwhile frequently getting things wrong themselves and then lacking accountability as well as responsibility for their errors, or even lie for the sake of trying to get their way.  Anyone else see what is wrong with that?  Worse, getting close to employees in familiar way only to use it against them later?

When someone in authority decides to be kind, polite, and be a confidante to others only to use anything they tell them against them later I believe it is a huge violation of trust.  There is something wrong when one invites those they work for them to share their stories, goals, plans/ambitions and even their heartaches only to use it against them later.  Is it just me or does that seem to be a manipulative tactic?  And people wonder why we are becoming less trustworthy or community-like in this world when such a deep personal violation like that occurs.

One story which was the reason that lead me to write on this subject was someone told their employee that because of the fact that this worker who loves to travel with their family wasn't getting many benefits or perks in their career was because they weren't, "settling down." I don't want to say much of the detail but when the employer expanded on what that meant in their eyes it seemed to the employee that it was very similar to what the boss themselves had done with their life.  Who says that? Why do they think it is okay or that they have the right to say something like that or do something like that toward their workers?

So, the micromanaging employers can even say to staff if anyone is not exactly like them in both work and personal spheres then they don't get their benefits, raises, or commendations for their hard work?  What kind of a world do we live in?

Does anyone else feel that this is not okay?  Or do you think this is right?  Because I don't think it is.

Employers then need to keep a line between work and personal and leave it in the work sphere and stay out of everyone else's personal lives, especially if they are using the warmth and kindness as a mask in order to gain information on employees and use it against them later, as I don't think it is okay at all. 

Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties.

My Latest Reads & Music - June 28, 2015

Here is a list of what I have been listening to and the books I have been reading into these past several days.

For Music:

Plenty of Video Game music, especially Dragon Age Inquisition. I enjoy it very much.

For soothing relaxing times it has been the H2O by Dan Gibson.

I've also been wanting to tune in on more Bon Jovi albums, mostly the older stuff.

MuchDance 1997.


Alan Cumming's Memoir, "Not My Father's Son."

"The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules," by Catharina Ingelman Sundbery.

"Intolerable," by Kamal Al-Solaylee

"The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said," selected and compiled by Robert Byrne.

There has been some skimming of video game art and strategy books too.

Anyone out there got any latest reads or music they have been hooked on lately?


Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties.

Saturday, 27 June 2015

An Odd Day - June 27, 2015

I think this day has not only been adventurous for me, almost like I was on vacation (I wasn't), but also so weird or odd that I have to share.

First someone wanted me to do a survey at the beginning of tour I did, not the end. Huh? That made no sense to me, but she was insistent that I should... Okie dokie... I still did not do it and declined the offer! How can one give a proper perspective of a tour for the survey when they haven't seen anything yet?
Sometime later, and in a different part of the city, two tiny female volunteers for the blood bank wanted my blood, like REALLY wanted it; particularly when they heard me say my blood type, their eyes lit up. And when I had to decline and explain why (faintish tendencies) I thought for a moment they are not going to back down, they are going to hold me down to the ground, shoving IV's in me on the street and start bloodletting me right there.

A lady at my favourite book store approaches me from the side and tries to grab my wrist, putting her face extremely close to my bracelet wanting a, "closer look,"... I had headphones in (clearly she could see that) and did this without asking. I literally (very politely though thank God) said, "Please, I can't hear you and you just got in my personal space like that, please ask properly before you do that." She tried to be offended but with other customers looking at her the way they did (not me) she knew she crossed a line and snottiness was not going to make her look any better.

Later a man "promoting peace," practically demanded in a very soft soothing voice I should try and take his book, "as a gift," (all on philosophies I abide by anyway) and when I wouldn't take it wondering where the punchline was (as his body language indicated there was one to come) he wanted a, "donation," for promoting peace and his book.
And, final tale of oddness... someone tried to butt in line. Very determined too, but I am way more stubborn. Do not cut in front of me and so rudely. I am not afraid of you, I have sisters buddy!

Alas, other than the weird approaches by other pedestrians, the views I took in today and the places I went to that I had not visited in some time was like I was seeing them for the first time all over again. It reminded me of why I fell in love with where I live, and how grateful I am that I am here; that I made it here. Best walking adventure I took myself on in a long time.  It renewed my soul somehow.  I felt like me, I felt normal for the first time in awhile I have felt no sadness, pain or woes.


Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties.

Sunday, 21 June 2015

I'm Having An Issue With Underwear - June 21, 2015

I have a confession.. Underwear has been on my mind for a month now. And it has nothing to do with my underwear actually, but other peoples.

I keep seeing it all over the city, and I am wondering what is going on? Many sizes, types and colours come across my path almost every time I am out and about. Several times I have seen them on edges of trash bins. My thought is why do people put them there as if they think someone may want them? Who would after they've been sitting on the corners of a trash can? Maybe I am totally wrong but I would think just throw them into the trash completely, because I feel it is unlikely anyone would want them at that point, or, would even want second hand undies. These thoughts of underwear wouldn't plague me so if I stopped seeing them pop up everywhere.

I have greatly pondered that if this occurs again I am going to start taking pictures of the underwear I find and post them on my twitter and blog accounts, even put up missing posters saying, where I found them asking, "Do these sexy undies belong to you?" along with my contact information. All will start with, "sexy," so no one thinks I am judging if I don't for all posters.

What will I do if they call you may ask?  Well, if they actually contact me I am making them all answer my survey on the loss of their underwear: when, what time, why and how? MOSTLY HOW. There will also be a trick question of where just in case I have a wrongful claimer. 

As this may take a lot of time and work I am going to wrangle in some interested pals and they can be part of the panel for questioning; one each for asking the when, what time, why, how and the where.


Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties.

Saturday, 20 June 2015

The Main Concern At Present - June 21, 2015

Three and a half years can really change a person, doesn't it?....

In my case I went from mourning a 6.5 year relationship only to finally get my barings when my Mother fell ill and I watched her slowly die for a year and half, to battling with villains and paperwork she left behind for me; her supergirl once again coming to save her even from the grave.  Still waiting for the verdict on some things, but for now it all has to take a back seat, and so I have had to tell everyone.

I need a reboot.  And two months left of me being Lucky 33 I have learned something from this number I had looked forward to being the moment I turned 30, and that is this: the old phrase that what does not kills you makes you stronger rings ever true. But to ensure I do not end up destroying myself and all I worked so hard and sacrificed for I have to start with the basics in my rebooting, and that is my health and emotional state.  

Someone took pictures of me recently and I nearly cried from the sight of me.  My once energetic glowing self was no where found in the shots and all I saw was an exhausted dark eyed grayish-yellow-like being... had I become a Zombie? I knew I had to draw the line in the sand and tell everyone to solve their own problems and to give me space... There was something liberating and yet hard to tell everyone that unless there was a real emergency I am no good to anyone at the moment and I needed ME time.  Luckily being a lonewolf in general and my friends are few (and as busy as I) as well as family being far away I am blessed to be left alone quite easily.

Only a mere week later did a new picture of me get taken.  I asked to see it.  I couldn't believe the difference already, and all from ensuring I watch my nutrient levels and adding strength training to my day and some extra steps in my days. This for me is the very basics and that's where I am focused right now, at least for another week.

I already eat a Vegan-way of life, and do lots of walking and hiking.  I am also a notorious glutton for not caring for calorie and fat content, and nor did this scare and stress in my life trigger me to watch fat-calorie b.s.  Instead it has been more of a how much Vitamin A, riboflavin, magnesium, vitamin C, etc type of deal; all with food, I am not a pill-vitamin popping individual because I love chewing and slurping more.

I realized most of my energy in my walks were focused on going somewhere to take care of business that plagued I and my family's lives.  I usually have always been a walker for fun and clear my head or to seek adventures.  However, two years it was either doing huge supply runs for my Mother or others, or running around to get things done such as faxing, filing, copying, mailing, dropping off, going to meetings or appointments; urgent and must be done immediately kind of stuff.  I shouldn't negate the importance of all those things, but at this stage of the game where I am down trodden and darkly cynical of the world I can't help it. 

As I am improving day-by-day and even hour-by-hour I am able to return more to my hobbies and see people more often if I wanted.  I won't lie, alone time has made such a difference.  I can really take as much time to myself as possible, even being attentive to my skin... yes, I said my skin.  

I now am more attentive to my skin like I used to be a long while back. I still have always used the handmade environmentally conscientious products that I have for the past 7 years (even have gotten 5 people hooked on them too SCORE), I just haven't been using the lotions, body butters, aloe gels, etc as much as I should; call it major neglect, so thank goodness I am not a huge makeup user because that has almost been non-existent anyway.  Being so neglectful has caused me to take time everyday twice a day to lovingly take care of my skin to help revive itself.  Something so simple has even made a difference. 

In all this foodie, extra exercising and aiding my skin business has put more bounce back in me and I am more excited about my old hobbies and adventures again.  

I want to be well again, and right now, who wouldn't? But, I remind myself to be gentle, well, even kind to myself. Even maintain the fortitude to tell my loved ones to leave me be to breathe... this is gonna take some time.  

No rushing! No pushing! No guilt-riding! No high expectations!  And those NO's are not so much toward others as it is towards myself.  My biggest, pushiest critic. 

Copyright 2015 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties.