Saturday, 19 July 2014

Embracing the Rain and Putting Out the Fire – July 19, 2014

I thought about calling this, “Putting out the fire… OR RUN FROM IT!”

I couldn’t decide since I wrote my blog reflecting on how my present job was a metaphor for fire: if it is a situation of me putting out a fire? Or! Running from it?  In the end, I realize I am walking away with a rain cloud protecting me along the way.  
Most people I know do not like rain much. They like heat, they like things HOT! They embrace it!
Until… like what is happening at present… lightning strikes the ground making a fire and it spreads rapidly; because without rain everything is so dry the fire can move over it easily. Even with heat lasting for too long without a fire occurring people can get dehydrated, burned, head pains, and tummy pains! Suddenly the heat without any rain is too much! And they take back their statements pretty quick and ask where the rain is.
I guess most people think of rain clouds in a negative sense, but not me.  I grew up on a farm where I learned very quick as a tiny child that the balance of weather is crucial for everything to thrive; not just for the farm with all the animals and fields my grandparents cared for, but also the forests, lakes, rivers, creeks and hills all us farm families in the region were surrounded by.  Overtime, as all us farm kids grew up, we didn’t just see how important the need for rain was, we felt it too. If the rain didn’t come when it was needed, we, like the lands, were not ourselves.  I would get grumpy, annoyed and frustrated! I do get frustrated and annoyed even now when there is too much heat and not enough precipitation.

For too long at work, the negative-angry-anxious-filled atmosphere has surrounded everyone and everything is a lot like heat, like fire… it could not be handled by just ignoring it or hoping it would go away (even though I tried to douse I am still one person with a bucket of water against a raging fire which is not going to cut it now is it?).  What was (and still is) happening at a place that was not always like this, is not new to me; I have seen what is going on occur with family, friends, and even with a couple of landlords of a couple of buildings I have lived in.  When the landlord was not following through on their duties and were not paying attention (or maybe didn’t care anymore), tenants and their guests in the building destroyed the atmosphere. Suddenly home felt unsafe and uncomfortable for others to live in, furthermore, you saw the building itself get wrecked as well.

If you don’t keep up a balance, some part of you, or many parts of yourself, can get ruined.  The fire destroys, it just wants to burn when there is no dirt and water to make mud and rub it out.  Meaning, without enough good people being proactive and coming together to problem solve, things get wrecked, put out of balance.  It’s hard enough for one person taking care of their own life which is a smaller scale already, versus larger spheres which require much larger groups to help. The larger the groups, the more everyone needs to be on board on keeping things running, like a well-maintained machine; it often take can only take one part to go before the whole thing is not functioning as it should.

I used work as an example in my last blog, I am going smaller and going to use my own teeny-tiny life as the example now; because if I am off on any part of my life then I am not balanced and the whole thing doesn’t run as smoothly.  The number one thing that makes my life rocky is I go through a period of lack of sleep. After just a couple of nights where I don't sleep well, bad things start to happen.  The more I don't get enough sleep as the week goes on, it gets worse:
-I am weak
-There is a lack of focus
-I start getting annoyed easily
-I don't eat well
-I hate socializing
-Tasks and errands (even the super-duper important ones) start to get neglected
-I lack empathy and sympathy for the rest of the world
-I get sick.

What it boils down to is after I get enough sleep and recover, I am then scrambling to clean my home, get errands done and complete tasks on time, I have no food in my fridge or cupboards, I have lots of phone calls and messages to respond to because I need to let everyone know I am alive and still love them, and I guilt trip myself for the next while. Lack of sleep, just ONE aspect of my being that is quite necessary for me and should NEVER be neglected throws my whole little kingdom out of order and will burn it to the ground if I am not careful.

I have seen people, those who are near and dear to me even, who live a life of crisis; in fact, they appear to be in a perpetual state of it.  There are always statements like: 
-"It’s the way I am"
-"There is always stuff that needs to be done."
-"If I stop it won't get done and then bad things will happen."
-"Time is money."
-"It's like the world will end if I don't and I can't just let it go. I can't!"
-"This is the way I prefer to live my life."
-"Work is what I am and what I do. This is who I am."

Yet, no matter what they say and do, I don't see them happy, filled with joy, or ever optimistic or energetic, and rarely (if ever), passionate about how they live like that!

I have shared with them techniques that could help for their stresses or resolve problems, and encourage that they take time to pamper themselves or even take a vacation and touch base with loved ones. But if they don't want help, if they don't want to hear it because they have lived this way for so long they can't turn off or they find benefits (even negative ones) from this, people don't change (or even won’t change)!  They will continue to allow themselves to burn, be consumed by fire rather than step out and let the rain fall down on them. 
I never carry and umbrella. My best friend who carries an umbrella whenever it rains always wants to share with me but I tell him it’s not required.  Because, like my life, I need the balance of rain with heat: letting the rain pour over me makes me feel rejuvenated, refreshed and calm; from the outside on my skin, toward the inside of my body, right down to my soul.  You can often catch me closing my eyes and tilting my head to the skies with my arms stretching out.  Embracing it!

Copyright 2014 Lucky 33: Stories, Experiences, Perspectives, and Opinions of a Woman Who Made It To Her Thirties.

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